first year

-alicia · 23-04-2014, 03:44 AM

this is kind of rant-y, so i apologise!

i recently hit my one year clean mark, and it's the first time i've ever been able to get there! i don't really know how i feel about it, but right now i don't feel like i need to self harm or anything.

i obviously really feel good in some ways, because it's a huge accomplishment for me and i never ever thought i'd be able to get to this point. but i also feel sort of like i've lost a part of my identity. i always felt like SI was a huge part of me and my personality, which i know is a bad way to think, but i don't know. i can't really help feeling that way, i guess.

i haven't been able to tell anyone, so you guys are my first! lots of firsts lately, haha. anyway, thanks for listening guys. <3

High_Voltage · 23-04-2014, 07:33 PM

Congratulations on 1 year, thats a huge accomplishment and a great one at that. As for feeling like you've lost a part of yourself I kind of get that though thats a part of yourself thats better gone. It's great that you're one year free of self harm and you should be happy about that and very proud too

Pi.R^2 · 23-04-2014, 08:26 PM

Hurrah! Well done on managing one year free; that's fantastic :)

I can definitely relate to feeling like you've lost part of your identity. It does get easier though, and the more days, weeks and months you put between you and your self harm, the more aspects to your personality you find that you didn't know you had. I'd recommend just getting out there and trying new things to find out more about what you like and don't like and who you are. Eventually things start to fill the gaps that self harm used to take up, and those things generally turn out to be significantly more exciting and better dinner party conversation than "I'm a pro at self harm" :P

Best of luck in your continued journey of recovery :)