I have a really weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. My fingers are all tingley, my eyes can't really focus. I think it's because I have a plan, and I'm going to execute it. I'm so done giving my heart to people and having it returned to me in pieces. I have nothing left to live for. I can't stand to be here anymore. I want to go. I need to go. I will cut my arms to the point where they're useless. I will take all the pills and liquid we have in the cabinet. I will go out and lie in the middle of the intersection. I will do whatever it takes to make this better for you.
I promise.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I'm sorry you're feeling so distressed. Who do you think this will make it better for?
I can assure you that no one wants to see you hurt or gone. I'm sure there are a lot of people in your life who care very much about you and want you to be safe.
I understand that it is hard when you love someone and that love doesn't go the way you wanted it to. But please believe me when I say that life can and will get better from this. I know it is hard now but it wont be hard forever. You have a lot of your life still left to live and I'm sure you have aspirations and dreams that you've wanted to achieve. What you're feeling now will not always be. It's hard to be strong, but you have that strength in you to get through this time and move on to a brighter and better future.
Can you reach out to someone in your life and let them know how much you are struggling?
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
The people I reached out to helped me at first, but now they're gone.
I can't be here. This world holds nothing for me anymore.
I must go.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I can't stop shaking and i feel extremely cold. I can't get help for it because i JUST got back from the mental health hospital.
I feel hopeless and I know I'm a lost cause. I have been crying nonstop for weeks even if it's just a few tears in my eyes. I can't stand the thought of myself and I am disugusting.
Please, someone. Get rid of me.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
Hey, sorry I know we just met but you helped me SO MUCH. It's f****** s***, it really is. Some people help you and you give them everything, (body, mind, heart and soul) and one day they just turn around and discard you like yesterdays trash.
You are not, YOU are an AMAZING girl who deserves the best like everyone else and you deserve to be loved and to feel good and to get support whenever you need it. We're all here and your situation sounds almost the same as mine so if you need someone who'll understand, I'm here xx
We are all warriors. Fighting the war inside just to be alive for the ones we love.
I have the urge to overdose so bad. I never did it until two days ago, but I already need it.
I can't help but feel that this time I won't fuck it up
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I have no-one. I've burdened my one friend too much.... I can't talk to him anymore. I can't call anyone. I'm at school right now, it would be so fucking easy to just go out and get hit by a car right now.... so easy.
I feel weird.... All tingley again... I know what I have to do
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
What makes you think you can't talk to your friend any more? Has he said that or is it your perception? I only ask because often we think that about ourselves but in actual fact people don't feel that way. Friends are there through the good and bad.
Is there anyone at school you can speak to? A teacher you trust or school counsellor?
If you have just got back from the mental health hospital, what support have you got from professionals?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
He told me he couldn't love me the same way I love him; not romantically, I guess is the word. He won't reply to my more serious texts anymore. We see each other at church and school. I sit by myself at lunch (I don't eat) and a lot of the time, he'll come over and sit by me and talk to me even though I don't say much. He's a Junior even though he's only sixteen, and I'm a fifteen year old freshman, so really, we should both be sophomores.
I can't talk to the school counselor because they'll just call my parents and I can't have that happen. I got out of the hospital a month ago, and you're supposed to have an outpatient therapist as soon as you get out, but for some reason I haven't had one.
I really can't handle this, there is just so much pain.
I am lost.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
That sounds like a tough situation with your friend. Does he mean he likes you romantically and you don't like him that way? Sorry, I'm just trying to understand fully.
Do you think calling a helpline or something might help? They are often confidential and they allow you to talk about things but not worry about it going further than that.
Can you call someone from you team or your local MH centre to find out why you've not had one? Sometimes we need to chase things like that.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I'll launch into the church situation now.... It could get long. Sorry.
So my parents have been best friends with this guy named Geoff for about twenty years. My mom was in the same youth group as him, and went to the same high school. When he graduated, he went to Ecuador to be a missionary for about a year I think. When he came back, he started working as a youth minister. He was my youth minister all through middle school and I had known him since I was born, which I already thought was weird that he was connected to church and my parents best friend. Anyway, I lived in Texas since I was born, but right before 8th grade, we moved to Colorado because him. He wanted to be a preacher instead of a youth minister, so we moved. My parents are best friends with him and his wife, so naturally they didn't want to be separated. I hate him for that. I love Texas (as us Texans are so loyal) and he tore me away from everything I ever loved and knew. 8th grade here was horrible, I was bullied a lot and had no friends; I sat in the library by myself at lunch. That's when things started falling apart. Then, about three months ago, my parents forced me to start meeting with him because they thought he could fix it since he had worked with the teens for like fifteen years. Naturally, I really fucking hated this because he had known me since I was born. My friend told him I was suicidal, and he threatened to tell my parents. I have never really hated someone as much as I hate Geoff. My parents would take away my electronics and everything until I met with him. I expressed my hate for the meetings, but they wouldn't listen. Two months and multiple meetings later, I was in the mental hospital for suicide/ self harm. So clearly those meetings weren't doing shit. I hate him, but he still insists on talking to me. I never reply to him, and I avoid him as much as possible. Things is really difficult, because I'm forced to see him at least once a week since I am forced to go to church. I have left any hope of me going to heaven behind. I don't want to go to church anymore, because I already know I'm a lost cause, and that there's no point in trying.
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I shouldn't have posted... should not be wasting this support on me.... I'm so sorry for wasting all of your time....such a waste
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
I can't stop screaming inside my head! I have an hour to decide! I have an hour before school's out. I can do it, right now, outside the classroom. Nobody would find me until it was too late. Oh fuck I can't do this. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
We want it, we want, we want a reason to live. We need it, we need, we need more than this. Going through this life, looking for angels. People passing by, looking for angels. Walking down the streets, looking for angels. Everyone I meet, looking for angels.
