Sasha, only send something if you feel comfortable. Here if you need it :)
I'm feeling rather messy at the moment. Unfortunately. I'll probably be fine, but I sort of hope I won't be because otherwise how will people know how bad things are? Sigh.
I totally get your thinking behind the whole how do people know how bad things are thing. I wish I had an answer or solution but all I can really advise is from personal experience is that it's far more difficult but if you try verbally telling people that things aren't ok it might ease the feeling you have that you don't want to stay ok. Sorry if that didn't make sense I'm not so good with words.
Thanks Hellz and Sasha *hugs* I am meant to be returning to work on Tuesday. I've been off sick since October, but I can't face going back. My pay will stop on the 19th February if I don't return, so I have to go back. I am struggling with thoughts of od-ing so I don't have to go back. I've mentioned it to my fiance, and he was very kind about it, but I don't know that he gets it. He doesn't know what to do. I think he's just hoping I'll be fine. Which I don't feel like I will be.
I don't want to see the CPN again because the one time I saw her she clearly thought I was totally fine. So I don't want to talk to her again.
Thanks for the advice, Hellz. I appreciate it, and it does make sense.
It's great you talked to your fiancé about it, it's understandable that he's not sure how to react sometimes but if you're worried about staying safe maybe you could try explain to him how serious it is.
I'm not gonna preach to anyone about oding but that's really just a delaying tactic and a pretty unpleasant and dangerous one. I get why you are tempted to do that but it's worth fighting it.
I'm not great but not terrible either, thanks for asking. Had a fairly uneventful day except from sending a garbled email to my advocate about hearing voices that I'm pretty sure doesn't even make sense to me never mind her.
I'm glad you aren't feeling too terrible...that's better than nothing, eh? Do you have any plans for the weekend, Hellz? I'm glad you were able to write to your advocate about the voices. Has writing about it helped at all?
I know, my last overdose was awful, really horrible. And I know that it isn't safe or sensible to do it again. Logically, I know that. Yet...it seems like such a good idea. Aren't these twisted thoughts just dreadful? Hmph.
It is indeed better than nothing. It didn't help hugely, but it's a bit of problem right now. Without being overly complex I'm officially diagnosed just with bpd but my gp and every "professional" I've seen in the last two years think I've also got bipolar type 2 but I refuse to go see a psych to make it official but as a borderline my gp won't give me antipsychotics.
Yeah I totally know that feeling, logic doesn't really come in to it. So I second your hmph. Sorry I don't have any answers but I am rooting for you which is the best I can do :)
Hellz, why are you unwilling to see a psych about bp2? It sounds like it might be helpful to have some more appropriate support. Especially if the voices are becoming more problematic *hugs*
Happy Friday, everyone. I hope you have a good day, and that the weekend has nice things in store for you all :)
No need to thank me Susie, I didn't do anything particularly helpful. How are you doing today? I think the psych thing is generally that I don't think there's a psych in the whole of tayside I haven't told to go f themselves at some point in the last 10 years, they don't like me and I don't like them so it's probably best to avoid them.
I'm sure the psychs are used to it. And chances are, most of them deserved it anyway! If it would be best for your mental health, consider going to see one...okay? *hugs*
I'm...okay...I think, Kat. At the stage where it could go either way, but to not be totally miserable right now is great! It's not happy, but I'll take it! :D
Haha yeah you got that one right I would never tell someone that didn't deserve it to F off :). I dunno I probably should go see one at some point it pretty far at the bottom of my to do list though.
I'm ok thanks Kat, away to clean out my hammies. I don't like bothering them as they are nearly three and kinda old and grouchy noe so I have to do it quite quickly. How are you?
