I hope this is okay and doen't break any rules, but for some reason the library PC won't allow me to read the rules! Real handy that!!! The title is rubbish, can't think of a better one. Sorry.
Anyway, a friend of mine who is a Christian has suddenly turned on me. This has happened before but she has turned on me because essentially the things she has been praying about have been answered, albeit not necessarily how she wanted. Things like 'someone' (never her) helping me with housing/benefit problems. I saw her a couple of days ago and she yelled at me I was an "attention seeking liar just like cmht say" and I'm a burden to her (she's struggled to sleep and being upset becuase of how I've been treated) mainly this is because I've not been made homeless; despite many many times coming close and having benefit problems - I was just forced to send my ESA form back blank as no-one would help me; when I told her that she said there must have been someone someone has always helped before, and acted concerned about me having no money and no-one bothering to help (meanwhile she has told me about helping several people to complete their masters disserations and PhDs because of their English problems).
The relationship basically has felt very conflicted for a long time, and the conversation felt akin to emotional abuse.
I really don't know what to do. I feel very angry and betrayed and have not contacted her at all since this happened - she asked me to keep her updated and phone her/text her but I really really don't want to do that if she reacts in that way.
What is particularly hard (and the reason for this post) is that she has spent so much time and made so much fuss about a) helping with a few practical things (which stopped almost a year ago) and b) praying all the time that I feel very very confused about it.
I don't understand why someone who is a Christian and, by her own reasoning, lives life by prayer, would have such a problem with what happened in terms of me finding the strength and being able to obtain help and deciding that means I was lying instead of giving thanks for what had been, to me, answer to prayer.
I find it hard to ask for prayer so am very confused at this attitude. I was wondering if there were any christians here who could help me understand this? How would you feel for example?
I'm not very clued up on the situation & also a bit sedated at the moment but I noticed you didn't have any replies yet so wanted to firstly bump this thread so hopefully people who know will be able to reply but also to say I am sorry this has happened.
It must be really upsetting and distressing for you.
Hey. Its not against the rules to discuss religion; its just against the rules to make offensive/discrimitory remarks, bash others beliefs or lack of etc. This may be better off and get more responses in the bullying/abuse forum, a mod could move it if you want. I dont entirely understand the situation with housing and all that, but as far as your friend calling you a liar etc, yelling, fussing about helping you- whether one is a Christian or not, that is wrong and would be upsetting to many people. I am a Christian albeit one struggling with mh problems. But anyways, many people call themselves Christians but they really arent- belief and prayer don't make anyone a Christian; living for God does. Everyone messes up but consistently doing the things youve said your friend does, doesn't add up with what Christians are supossed to be. Her attitude is not what it should be for being a Christian. To put it briefly, Christians are to treat everyone with Gods love- and complaining, yellling, etc doenst fit the bill. I think it often hurts people even more when someome is doing something hurtful in the name of religion and/or when they claim to be a religious person. Hope that helps some.
I appreciate having the rules regarding religion explained - that makes sense; I'm on another site where it has been banned altogether so I wasn't sure. I will ask about it being moved as well - that's not to say I don't appreciate your replies of course!
'insecure' much of what you have said does make sense to me. I know I can be sensitive and misunderstand things hence making the post, I also struggle a lot with prayer, myself and other people praying for me so it's doubly upsetting in some ways.
Not all people who say they are Christians really are what they claim to be. I'm sorry to hear about how your friend is treating you. Friendships are supposed to help be helpful to the persons in it, not just to one side of it. from what I understand from your post, she's just having you to feel good about herself, and lashes out if she isn't the one who "helps" you out.
You better talk to her about it. Or if you can't take anymore of her abusive behavior, explain it to her and try to distance yourself. Continued association with that kind of person will have a negative effect on your emotions and your faith.
Not all people who say they are Christians really are what they claim to be.
This is the thing right here--this is fact.
I just had virtually the same happen to me, and it happened over the course of 4 years. It was nothing short of abuse, what was being done to me.
It's nothing against Christians or Christianity. It's simply what happens when bad Christians happen to good people.
Run. Run like your ass is on fire. In the opposite direction.
Please don't click on 'hugs.' You can't hug over the internet, and attempts to do so are extremely patronizing. The only thing you can do on a computer is type and play games.
It's really sad but the situation is continuing. She is becoming a problem, constantly contacting me by text to tell her what is happening/going on with me/what can she pray for.
Have you been able to try and explain to her that you find her behavior problematic? It is important to set boundaries and to make sure you feel comfortable with how the two of you interact.
I actually more or less stayed away from this person. I tried setting boundaries e.g. not talking about MH but she refused to accept them. Would say ok we won't talk about it and then next breath ask me about it.
She has sent me a letter. In it she has accused me of bringing the incident on myself as I came between her and her family and was trying to take her away from them because I don't have a family and am so jealous I decided to ruin hers.
I am shocked and very upset. We have hardly spoken since what happened in January and now this letter has turned up. I'd put it behind me but now it's back and much worse. I had no idea she saw me in this way
Me again. Almost two months later. Today I discovered this woman has told my vicar I'm a liar. I'm really upset. I never told him what happened, him and his wife are really close to this woman and I didn't want to influence their opinion. But this week things have been especially hard, I asked for prayers regarding an assessment and my housing (I'm now squatting in the flat I rented) and she's gone and told them I'm lying.
I don't feel able to talk to vicar now because of this. I thought it was right thing to Do not saying it didn't occur to me she would do this!
