I've stopped coping

katgrace · 08-01-2014, 08:41 PM

So I was coping pretty well with my life up until about November time. I've not long started uni and it's been quite a big change for me to move away from home and have more responsibilities. I think I managed it okay to start with, but I struggled to get on with the people I live with (not that they're horrible people, they just have different personalities to me) and I became really miserable. I started to harm myself in November after being clean for about three months.

I came home from uni for christmas a few weeks ago and things got really bad.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : possible trigger

Since then I've completely stopped coping. I'm harming quite a lot and I've been thinking a lot about ending everything. I don't really know what to do anymore, I don't feel safe. I really want to be happy but I don't know how to.

Not really asking anything of anyone, just needed to get that out.

sherlock holmes · 08-01-2014, 09:23 PM

Sorry to hear things are not good for you right now.

Starting uni is a massive change and it's understandable you're feeling a bit wobbly because of that. Do you have any extra support at uni? You could try going to your uni's disability and support department, they will see anyone who wants some extra help.

Did you report the rape to the police? If you didn't, it's still not too late to report it if you want to. Have you talked about it with friends or family and got some support that way?

I would encourage you to see your GP and tell them how you're feeling and that you're not coping very well. They can then refer you for counselling if you want to try it or to the community mental health team who can support you.

katgrace · 10-01-2014, 12:53 AM

Thankyou

I think there is a counsellor available at uni, but I go to a fairly small uni on an even smaller campus, and the way I go about speaking to a counsellor is by going through my student union, and everybody knows everybody, it isn't exactly what you consider private. So I don't really feel confident in doing that.

Thankyou but I don't want to report it.

I've been to my GP before and all they did was refer me to a therapist. I tried it for over a year before deciding it was making me feel worse not better. When I got bad again I went back to my GP but they told me because I quit therapy without giving it a 'real try' that I won't be referred to anything else.

Thankyou for your suggestions, I appreciate them <3

kbeth · 10-01-2014, 03:32 AM

Hi, I just wanted to say I hear you and I feel for you. I had a lot of trouble after starting uni too. Would you be willing to give therapy another try? I'm in the US, so I'm not familiar with your psych system, but it seems like there would hopefully be some way to do it. I know my first therapist wasn't very helpful either, but the one I got after that has been a lifesaver for me. Maybe you could get a different one who's a better fit for you? It seems like you could really use the extra support right now.

Copernicus · 10-01-2014, 03:33 AM

I think you could probably do with some support with what happened to you over Christmas and coping with it. It's almost inevitable that an experience like that would trigger everything getting worse for a time.

Have you thought of phoning the 'rape crisis' line and seeing what they can offer? (You could look up their website.) They won't push you to report it if it's not what you want.

Also the GP sounds very unreasonable, as obviously going for over a year IS a 'real try' at something. You could see a different GP, as they do vary and someone else might be more helpful.

I hope you get some support and things improve for you.
x

(By the way if anything I've mentioned in this post feels too public for you just let me know -I'm very happy to edit/remove stuff.)

katgrace · 11-01-2014, 02:37 AM

kbeth:
I would consider therapy again, but I'm quite apprehensive about the idea of it. Like, the therapist I had was a really nice lady and I feel that she did her job well, it wasn't that she was bad. But I think that at the place I was in my life, I wasn't ready to talk about how I felt and I think because of that, it made me feel worse rather than helping me.

Copernicus:
Thanks for your advice, I might look into talking to a rape crisis line, but I'm not always the best at talking. I'm glad I'm not the only one who things my GP was wrong, I thought he was really unfair and had clearly never tried therapy for a year. I'm going to try and speak to another doctor at my surgery, I think I remember there being quite a nice lady who I've seen once or twice, so she could be helpful.