Feeling doomed.

[persephoneginger]

I feel doomed. I need money, which means I need a job. I'm 24, high school graduate, no college. I don't do well in school settings, and I lack motivation in general. I'm going to be screwed if I don't make money soon though. I've applied for a handful of places in the past few days. I've been sitting at the computer searching for jobs/applying with tears slowly streaming down my face. I meet the bare minimum for most jobs I want, so I apply, but why would someone hirer the bare minimum? I keep thinking maybe I should just suck it up and go to school but for what? What am I good at? What do I want to do? What can I stick with? That's the biggest question.

I feel doomed. My two, and only reliable friends, are also my ex-boyfriends. Both of whom I'm in love with, and in love with me. But I can't have both, and so thus I feel I should have neither. I've tried letting one go and being with the other [once for each] but I miss the other in turn so much. One doesn't want to be in an open relationship. So maybe I should just be on my own and keep my distance. But then I'm alone romantically, sexually, and worse, without friends. I'm so sick of breaking my own heart, and breaking theirs.

I feel doomed. I feel like I'm holding onto nothing. Or maybe I never stopped falling. I feel hopeless and helpless and pathetic and empty and aching and angry. I don't know where to start making things right for myself. All the "right" choices feel wrong. I want to be alone and left to rot and I want to be hugged and loved and shoved in the direction I'm supposed to be heading. But only I can save me...
But what if I don't know how to be saved?

[persephoneginger]

Please, any advice would be so helpful...

[Aquifolia]

Actually, in my experience being overqualified for jobs can be a disadvantage. I was turned down for several jobs because I have a college degree and they assumed I would leave as soon as something better came along. I couldn't get a job in my field because I didn't have experience (never mind that the reason I didn't have experience was because I was in school). Nearly a year out of school now and I work as a part time customer service rep and my degree is completely unrelated. . Also, a lot of times employers actually prefer to hire younger, less experienced workers because they are more trainable. They like to teach you their way of doing things, which is easier if you've never done it than if you been doing it a different way for several years and also because you would potentially stick around longer. All this to say that whenever you are on a job search, it always feels like you are the one with the disadvantage compared to everyone else, but it's really not true.

I don't have much advice on ex-boyfriends. I left town after my boyfriend and I broke up and I was too hurt and angry to try and be his friend so I told him not to talk to me and haven't had any contact since. So the only way really I've been able to deal with it is by being away from him. I just think, there's a reason exes are exes so I think it would be smart to look at the reasons and ask yourself if it's worth holding on to these relationships.

[persephoneginger]

Thank you! The job advice helps. I've heard all that before, I just seem to forget it when I'm feeling in a rut. So thank you so much :]

[susieannah]

I can't add much to the above advice, but maybe consider getting someone to look at your CVs and applications, see if they can see any room for improvement. Sometimes it's just about phrasing things right. Or so I'm told. I have the same problems as Aquifolia. *sighs*

[persephoneginger]

Thank you. Boo problems! :[