Just wanted to share this as an encouragement that God is always listening to the unspoken prayers of our hearts... i'd just typed this sorta poem nonsence thing just pouring out my heart... then I typed 'A cry for help' into google because I guess that's what i'm doing- crying to help to try and stop myself destroying myself... and the two results are below ...
first what I wrote into Word on the computer:
"I see you wading out into the deep water
And I cannot stop you,
It’s no place for a weak swimmer just out of water wings
Who thought as she swam a length on her own she was ready tobe set free,
And when the storm waters rage
And the waves buffer her about
So predictably
Down she goes
She reaches for rock bottom
Just to have a ground to stand upon
but there’s always deeper to fall
And long ago she lost the oxygen to breathe
Coasting down below the waters amongst the driftwood
She slips away"
Then google said: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...69&version=GNT
Our God hears our cries for help:
"29 But I am in pain and despair;
lift me up, O God, and save me!
30 I will praise God with a song;
I will proclaim his greatness by giving him thanks.
31 This will please the Lord more than offering him cattle,
more than sacrificing a full-grown bull.
32 When the oppressed see this, they will be glad;
those who worship God will be encouraged.
33 The Lord listens to those in need
and does not forget his people in prison."
Not sure what to say, but here are some links that may help. The first two have discractions and the last, inspirational pictures (although theres a few that imply we can recover all by self when in reality need God, theres loads of good ones.)
No one ever truly needs to cut...we think we do but we don't.
Bit of a long shot but does anyone here go to Soul Survivor Watford? I'm going to the 8pm Saturday celebration tomorrow so I was just wondering if, on the off chance, anyone will be there :P
Also, this is kind of random and I'm by no means a good singer, nor is it perfect, but I wrote this song a while back, and it gets harder to sing by the day but I know it is so important to trust God when there's nothing else left. It's worth embarrassing myself if it manages to encourage one person. Love you all loads :)
Hi, from one songwriter to another - your song is beautiful and you have an amazing voice. You have a real talent, don't lose that hope and belief in your voice - God has really blessed you.
Anyone heard of Christadelphians? I'm a Christadelphian and I have been a 'labelled' self harmer for 4 years and an 'unlabelled' self harmer for about 12 years... I'm 15...
So yeah... I love going to church and everything. The people at my church are my family and are more of a family than my biological one. I have been baptised into the saving name of the Lord Jesus Christ for a year and a month on Saturday.
Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk
I'm crazy, need my prescription filled
Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you
A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too
When I met my husband, it really helped me to stop. I was also closer to God around that time in my life when I met him because he had just gotten saved, and it was an exciting time. My relationship with God isn't where it should be, which I'd like to change.
I'm married now and have only SI'd twice in the past 3 years, which is a really good feeling because it used to be daily, just to cope. I still deal with an anxiety disorder though, so I FINALLY told my doctor so that I can get the help/medication I need so that I don't need to turn to SI or other destructive habits anymore. I rarely get the urge to self harm anymore, and it's truly something to be thankful to God for.
Self harm is a lonely place to be, but even all those years, God was still there.
Listen to the song "The Same God" by Newsong.
It's such a great reminder.
"The same God who was with you then, is with you now
The same God who led you in will lead you out
So take all the fear and doubt
Go on and lay them down
The same God, the same God, is with you now"
All I wanted just sped right past me I was rooted fast to the earth.. I could be stuck here for a thousand years, without your arms to drag me out.
No I'd never heard of Christadelphians. Glad people at your church are like family, thats how it ought to be...
Rinna, I'm strugglin there too. My head knows everythin in the Bible is true...but then part of me says, i must be an exception, i'm not loved, i have no purpose other than to experience bad things etc.
Stillhurting- You've done really well and taken good steps. That is a good song, thanks.
I have a prayer request if anyone wants to pray over it. Its complicated, and details are confidential, so I'll give the very abbreviated version. I have a friend who has (again, has done this twice before, the first time for a month) stopped talking to me, which isn't good all around; painful for both of us and is an indicator she's not doing good. It's been a few days. I desperately need her to talk to me, and she needs her to talk to me too. She's misunderstood some things I've said, which is puzzling to me as she used to always understand me. She needs rest, and our relationship needs to be strengthened. Seems like satan/demons are doin everythin they can to tear us apart, when thats the last thing we need.
Does anyone else hypothetically want to be free of self-injury but realistically can't imagine living without it? Sometimes I convince myself that its really not a big deal, no reason to quit. But its is of course a problem, if for no other reason than that s.i. is tryin to fix things by self instead of turning to and trusting God is a problem. It's just so hard to even want to quit when you don't feel close to God and your faith is shaky...
Last edited by needle girl : 11-05-2013 at 07:46 AM.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
I've heard of Christadelphians, a friend is. Or her family is.
I will pray for you and your friend, and I very much hope things improve soon. How are things going for you right now?
I completely understand. I'm a year free but the idea of never being allowed to SH again freaks me out, so I don't think about it like that. I only ever look towards the next mile stone. Stay 1 month free is okay, right? So why not double it? But staying free forever is a whole different ball game.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Thank you. I'm bouncing between bein happy and wantin nothing other than to tear myself up and drink. I've promised not to drink for bad reasons though. How are you?
A year, good job! Should be proud of yourself. I went a day shy of three years once. My first bout of si was brief. Now I've been hurtin off and on for two and a half years, much more severe, and quitting totally seems impossible. Yeah one month is ok, two is pushing it- right now. As wrong as it is I want the option to hurt myself, my whole life. I once wanted and felt I was to be a pastor...seems impossible now.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
I once wanted and felt I was to be a pastor...seems impossible now.
This may seem impossible but that definitely doesn't mean it is. This is the testimony of a lady I have gotten to know over the last 4 years or so:
- Became a druggie / drug dealer aged 11
- Diagnosed with serious heart condition and degenerative disease thingy
- Became suicidal
- Used to smoke, drink, etc, and continue with the dealing til the age of 17/18
- Became a Christian, life changed, stopped drugs etc
- Got married
- Husband got really ill, told her to divorce him as he wanted her to be able to live life
- Moved from Oz to England
- Got married to someone else
- Found out she can't have kids
- Started doing schools work and set up worldwide Christian youthwork ministry
- Became youth & kids pastor at my church
- On Sunday she was made one of the Senior Leaders / pastoral role at my church.
Yes, she still gets quite ill and tired from her heart condition / degenerative disease, yes she still struggles with the past / present, BUT she has been taken on a journey with God to where she is meant to be, despite how this would definitely have seemed impossible for a long, long time. Hope this is encouraging somehow :)
