I'd trust that she has your best interests at heart and if she recognises that you need different support at this time then look at what that support should be together.
Katie, I think maybe re-reading startingagain's reply now you are not feeling so emotional may help. I see nothing offensive in it, I think its practical and was offered as advice to help, when perhaps your own judgements were clouded by emotion. I wonder if taking a step back and reading it again, you might see that startingagain was offering a valid opinion, and perhaps your reaction was unwarranted. I don't think anyone is trying to argue, I think that startingagain is feeling hurt, as you were the other night.
In other news, I am so glad to read that you are taking time to recover. It already seems having a bit of space away from work is helping which is great. x
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
Whilst i can accept people being ill and possibly saying things they wouldn't normally,i don't think you can use it as an excuse not to apologise.
Whilst its good to stand up for yourself and express yourself,there is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive,or however it would be described....
As an adult,you know what's acceptable and what's not,yes,as a child you weren't allowed to express yourself but you *aren't* a child.
I guess? something you're probably working on with your therapist,is your past and bad experiences BUT you can't use past experiences as reasons to excuse your behaviour all the time.
A lot of people on here have probably had bad childhoods or experiences,hell,I've had more than my fair share but instead of using it as a barrier to stay stuck i use the experiences to try and move forward.
Yes,you feel fragile and exhausted and ill etc but to quite a few peoples suggestions you've used experiences from your past almost as a reason to avoid or brush aside the advice offered,granted you're quite free to ignore peoples advice but i think the more barriers you put in the way,the more you say "i can't because...." the harder its going to be for you to move forward,to get to a healthy weight,to make the friends you want because you've already kinda decided you won't be able to do it.
An example,if i look at a climbing route and think I'll try my hardest-im more likely to get up that route,than the times i stand at the bottom of the same route and say to myself "i can't do moves like that/I've never been able to do them/Im a rubbish climber/etc" i won't get up.
Yeah its not the best example but the only thing i could think of.
I know this comment comes across as blunt but i think after quite a few of the softly softly comments,you don't seem to see? How serious being underweight and putting things off can get.
So you are saying that you find recieving advice difficult? If that is the case maybe you should R/V instead of post asking for advice when you are struggling?
Katie, you mention about struggling with assertiveness. How you ever been or thought about going to a self assertiveness group at all?
My mum went to one as she struggled with this and it really helped her. She is now much more better a putting her feelings across to people, and in a much calmer more confident manner, which has really helped improve my relationship with her (:
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I've done an elearning thing on it for work, which kind of sucked. I'm working towards joining some kind of group, not sure what though. I find groups really hard though. Like here.
Groups are difficult to go to at first, but the ones I have been to have made me feel welcome and to add to that everyone is usually struggling with similar issues, so they will understand to an extent how you feeling, which does make things easier.
Perhaps you could talk through with your therapist what kind of groups may help you.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
If advice is overwhelming for you, maybe you could explain that in your opening post what you want from your thread so that people are aware?
The advice you have been offered sounds very useful and I hope you can use some of it. Maybe you could take a read back through the thread when you feel better.
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Ames, I am planning to write to my local Mind sometime next week, once I know what my GP plans. I plan to ask for a dietician's help. She might know of an appropriate group. So many support groups are during the day, which doesn't work for me.
Thanks, yes, when I'm 'falling apart' it's hard for me to ask for what I really need. It falls by the wayside as my communication goes all off. It hasn't happened for a long time, but everything's just got on top of me lately.
I hope she can suggest something for you, you're right most of them seem to be during the day. But most are only 1-2 hours, so perhaps if there is something that may help, would it be possible to change shifts at all?
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Soph, I need rest, and to be with myself and my feelings. I need people. [That's the missing part].
From here, I just really need people to listen. If I ask a question, then I'd appreciate some suggestions. I need companionship, to feel people believe in me and that I can get better. I need encouragement.
From my GP I need some guidance on how to eat so that I don't collapse again [meal plan that works for me, to begin with perhaps], any supplements I might need, and how to access a support group. Though this time may not be the time to ask, maybe next time, I'll see.
Ames, thanks for the tips on groups. My shifts are already very finely tuned, but there is a bit of room for flexibility.
snailonv, there are, but my local one seems to have closed.
The most important thing is your eating, so if looking into support groups is too much on top of that, then it is fine if that takes a back seat for now. You don't have to try and fix everything at once.
Getting your physical health back is the main priority right now.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I've been there many times myself, and it has only ever caused me to feel completely overwhelmed.
Try to remind yourself that you are going to deal with these other things, but that you won't be able to if your physical health deteriorates any further. So they need to wait a while.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
