i cant control myself

[phoeb]

I dont know right now i can't seem to control my thoughts they never seem to positive i actually hate myself i can never think good about myself ever i have tried so many techniques and i think it just gets worse it is making the urges to cut worse and i dont anr that i just seem to be fine one second and the next i have really bad urges and nearly crying i hate this it is ruining my life as the cutting gets worse my emotions change quicker i dont know what to do i cant talk to anyone about it i hate talking about it they dont need to know i dont know what to do this is all my fault they dont need this

[Too Shy]

It sounds like everything was pretty overwhelming earlier, how are you feeling now?

I can relate to never thinking anything good about yourself and hating yourself like you said. It can be very difficult trying to actively think of good things about yourself when you're unhappy. Could you try to think of things you like doing in life in general? The things we like doing are often the things that make us feel good, so maybe that would be a good start to thinking some positive thoughts about yourself.

Maybe you could try to keep a notebook or a journal to keep a note of the feelings you have just before/during/after those sudden urges to self-harm, to see if there's a pattern in why your mood suddenly changes like that.

Are you getting any professional support at the moment?

[PassedExpectations]

sometimes when my thoughts are really bad, i think about letting them pass through me, rather than trying to control them. trying to control my thoughts is pretty pointless... sometimes i am able to slow down and find thinking errors (here is a link to the page that i use: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/ ) and that helps, but sometimes all i can do is think about letting them pass by. my therapist is always talking about watching them like clouds, but i tend to think of letting them go "in one ear and out the other", so that i'm not paying attention to them or attaching lots of emotion to them

[Tank369]

I had a awful moment just like that not long ago and put a blank cd in not knowing wth it was and the song sounded like one of those instruments that are just like a string a stick and a bucket or something and it was echoing and I just sat there thinking wtf and I felt better instantly. Of course the pain comes back. Im struggling right now

Ps nice link katie

[freakangel]

I am sorry that you are struggling so right now. It is hard when our thoughts seem out of control. What is important is to realize what we can control. Our actions and what we do with the feelings and emotions we have. In terms of thinking badly about yourself I know it is hard to see differently when things are though but could you try to write down some things you have done or that you do like about yourself that way you can look at it when things are tough. Just a thought. I am sorry things are tough, continue to be strong and take care. If you need anything I am here.

[Isoverity]

if you hate yourself you throw fat on the fire. Negative emotions are the source of the problem. Hating the negative emotions (which breed guilt and anxiety) just adds more negative emotions. Struggling with the symptoms (cutting etc) will also just make things worse. The situation is probably not "all my fault" as you say. Someone started upsetting you when you were young and that made you fall from grace inside yourself and get tangled up in your own machinery. Stop hating them too (or their memory). Once you make some emotional adjustments and stop struggling with problems and resenting them the fires within cool down. Bad habits lose their fuel.