My girlfriend thinks my mother abuses me emotionally. Here are some things she does:
Threatening me with vague, unstated consequences.
Threatening me in general.
Invalidating my feelings.
Laying undeserved guilt on me.
Placing undeserved blame on me.
Dominating the conversations.
Refusing to apologize.
Always needing to have the last word.
Judging or rejecting my friends. (ie telling me I can't talk to my gf who saved me from committing suicide)
Using punishments and rewards to manipulate and control me.
Invading my privacy.
Under-estimating me
Failing to show trust in me
Labeling me
Criticizing me
Giving me the silent treatment.
Failing to give me real explanations.
Giving non-explanations such as "because it is wrong" or "because it is inappropriate" or "because it is a sin"
What do you think? Am I abused? She always is controlling me and telling me what I can and cannot do, putting me down. Nothing I do is right. Even if it's perfect she will find something wrong. And she prefers my brother over me I just want it to stop.
Please just stop the world from spinning, I want to get off this rollercoaster of nightmares.
We're all mad here-Alice in Wonderland
I'm broken, and will never be put back together, no matter how hard I try.
Umm... I do not know for sure if it is legally considered that like under the rules or laws but to me the answer would be yes. I would consider that emotional abuse.
Update: my "gf" was abusing me emotionally as well. And I broke off with her because of it. She had the balls to fake cancer while I was having brain surgery.
My mom still abuses me, and my self harm and ed relapsed. I'm 17 now, and back where I was at 13. Ugh.
Please just stop the world from spinning, I want to get off this rollercoaster of nightmares.
We're all mad here-Alice in Wonderland
I'm broken, and will never be put back together, no matter how hard I try.
Mandy, it is without doubt in my mind that this is emotional abuse. Something similar happened to me (though my mother wasnt directly involved, she did play a part). It was mostly my brothers who did it to me but the sorts of things happening to you were like I had as well.
Many, many years later, I'm seeing a counsellor and trying to accept what happened to me was emotional abuse.
Well Mandy, my friend, the similarities are such that is why I feel certain yours is emotional abuse.
Like the others say, it's a grey area as far as the law's concerned but irrespective of that I have no doubt it is seriously impacting on your self-esteem and feeling if self-worth . I really don't understand any parent who inflicts this sort of thing on their children. I never will
I' m sorry this is happening to you and wish that other than supporting you here, I could somehow make more of a difference.
Do your best to be strong, Mandy. I know that isn't easy.
I wish I had felt stronger when I was younger. I look back as an adult and wish I could have been more brave. Stood up to my abusers but of course I was a child then, growing up like you. And it sure isn't easy.
I'm hoping my words make some sort of difference for you.
I also believe she reinforces my destructive behavior, she yelled at me when I wanted extra birthday cake, and always calls me fat.we have a rule that I can't weigh less than her. And also when I've had a serious medical issue that required surgery she didn't believe me and thought I was being a drama queen. It's hard to cope, part of me is so done.
I think that's why I si and have an ed, because she controls me so much I can't control myself, except food wise and cutting.
Please just stop the world from spinning, I want to get off this rollercoaster of nightmares.
We're all mad here-Alice in Wonderland
I'm broken, and will never be put back together, no matter how hard I try.
Hello, Mandy
is there an adult or a counselor you can speak to?
Is there a relative you can trust not to go to your mother?
At 17, perhaps you are still in high school - is there a guidance counselor you could talk to? I know these professionals are sometimes not that useful, but seems to be it would be worth a try.
This must be very hard to deal with as it sounds, by yourself.
do you have a trusted friend?
glad you found this board. People are so kind and supportive here.
Everyone irl is so entwined and close to my mom that your suggestion wouldn't work. Basically everyone who meets me meets her, she 'approves' my friends, and has a 5 hour limit for how far I can go to college so she can visit/control me.
My teachers and counselors aren't very good, plus like I said, also very close with mom.
Please just stop the world from spinning, I want to get off this rollercoaster of nightmares.
We're all mad here-Alice in Wonderland
I'm broken, and will never be put back together, no matter how hard I try.
Bad day today, I knocked over my friends fries while trying to give her a water bottle at lunch. She exploded at me, and wouldnt let me pay for new ones. And then the teacher wouldn't let us leave the room and I always dont graph right in math and I get so scared he will yell at or hit me because I drew it wrong. He's very irrational.
Please just stop the world from spinning, I want to get off this rollercoaster of nightmares.
We're all mad here-Alice in Wonderland
I'm broken, and will never be put back together, no matter how hard I try.
