I know, its horrible :( like your heart physically aches and feels like you're empty and missing something.
You can get through this though - just got to put your mind to it - which I know is easier said than done.
Just try and leave her alone and if you miss her then can you speak to someone else about it? Tell them you're missing her? A friend or your mum or your worker or someone? That's what I found helped me.
I'm going to bed now chick but I hope you have a quiet rest of the night and manage to get some sleep.
Hey i'm new to this thread so hope you's don't mind me dropping by.
I've just been diagnosed with BPD a few months back and i'm still kind of
over whelmed by it all so I thought it would be comforting to talk to other people who suffer with it also.
Happy new year to everyone <3
Locked in, Buried under my skin
Riding on the whispers, Restless in the wind
Hunted, I can feel it coming
Keep me under cover in what could of been.
Hi Ocean, no of course it's fine for you to post here! Welcome to the thread :) how are you?
Today went ok thank you tinkles - I met the other people there and they seemed nice and friendly. Seem to get on with them ok so far. I feel pretty drained too - I met my social worker after day hosp today and the meeting seemed to go well, but its just been a lonnnng day. I still haven't met my named nurse, which is starting to irritate me a little but I'm going to try and not let it skew my view of her when I do meet her. I have no idea when I'm going to have my one-to-ones and I'm starting to sort of dislike the staff there a bit. I think they think certain things about me and it's making me not like them. Trying to tell myself its just in my head. How are you tinkles?
Hi Cheryl - I feel drained too. I think I may actually get an early night tonight (although I say that to myself pretty much every night!) What you doing this evening? Maybe just chill and watch some tv and zone out or something.
Hows your day been Mark? Hows the withdrawal? I hope it's a little better..
Sorry not up for individual posts right now. Really sorry :'(.
I'm really struggling right now. I keep seeing them everywhere. I don't know. I kept seeing them through the Christmas holidays but not that often but they are everywhere right now. They keep changing the number on the scales and telling me to self harm. They keep saying stuff about the 'day' that is coming up next week. They said I deserved everything that happened and all I am is a dirty little slutty whore that deserves it all. I don't know what to do. I'm really struggling :(.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I've tried blocking them out but I can see them fiddling with my thoughts. I want to smash my head against the wall. I don't have any prn. I'm not trusted with any. And I can't take my quetiapine yet anyway. Agh I don't know.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I'm trying to listen to music through headphones but its not working.
I don't have any benzos mark. I'm not prescribed any as they think ill get addicted to things easily especially as people with EUPD supposedly all have addiction issues :/. Crisis team used to give me one every time I saw them incase I saved them to od on :/. I don't know what to do. I've new trying to catch up on eastenders and I can't concentrate on it. The flashbacks are strong and I don't know how to ground myself properly.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
Thank you all so much for your support so far. I will thank you properly tomorrow.
I rang crisis. The guy recognised my voice and didn't even ask for my name. He remembered me. Anyway he told me to take a Valium and I said I didn't have any and he told me to take my quetiapine now. And if things got worse to call back. I don't know. They are standing right there in the corner watching me. Everything is getting to intense. They keep changing everything I say to mean complete nonsense. I don't know I'm just a fat fuking dirty whore that deserve ****.
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
You don't deserve anything. All you deserve is kindness and love.
Could you call the crisis team back and say that you're really really not coping and you're worried about yourself/scared? It's entirely up to you obviously, I wouldn't want to push you. It's just the things you are saying are quite concerning and that's what the crisis team is there for - you wouldn't be bothering them.
Or an alternative is to leave it an hour and see how you feel then.
