I wish you hadn't said that. Don't make promises you can't keep. There's no way that "no matter what happens" you will "always care" about me. Why would you say that when there's no way it can be the truth? Please don't make those promises.
I am bored out of my mind, right now. I know i try to convince myself that being on my own is better, but i have to admit i really would like a friend or two right now. life is so pointless with no one else to consider.
I'm sad for you that you spent so many years feeling so bad. I hope you don't struggle anymore. You need to live even more now, to make up for the time you lost trying to die. I wonder if I will ever think this about myself one day?
If I could just get better I would, but right now I'm struggling to see a point to this life. I wish I could tell you, but I am too scared you won't understand.
'Coincidence...it's what the Universe does for...fun.'
The Doctor
Gah, you're really getting on my nerves! Just stop it! It's getting to the point of being creepy and weird. I don't appreciate all your unexpected visits to my house, the tons of emails you send, trying to call, etc. What is so hard to understand about "I'm busy"? Because I am. I have school, work, other things going on right now in my life that I have to deal with. Friends that I need to help, a sister I want to be there for. And y'know-- it's exhausting. Suppose I enjoy the majority of it, but I'm simply worn out. I don't have time anymore. I don't think that's a difficult thing to comprehend. Wish you wouldn't make such a deal of everything... I can't take it.
Just to add I guess... my business is just that: my business. Not yours. You don't need to know about every single little thing I do or every thought that runs through my head. It's gotten to where I specifically don't tell you things because I don't want you to ask a million questions and invade my privacy. One of the things about you that reminds me of my mother. And another thing I just can't deal with, especially not now. I'll live my life, you live yours. We're not even "together" anymore anyway, so it shouldn't matter to you at all.
Don't get me wrong, I still care about you. But things have changed. And I think you really need to back off and chill out. Stop concerning yourself with my matters and deal with your own.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
~My own sister is one of the biggest triggers I have around. She triggers the fuck out of me. So how the hell am I meant to live in a house with her again?
~PLEASE leave me alone. I saw you only a couple of weeks ago. No, I do not want to catch up again. You're pissing me off, and the more you piss me off, the less I will try to be nice to you. I get the impression you are a little too fond of me for my liking. And you're being incredibly annoying about it. Plus, I have my eye on someone else. So my advice to you is, FUCK OFF. I am sick of having to meet up with you to "catch up" every week or so. I'm only doing it to be nice and it is wearing real thin real fast. So please, leave me the fuck alone.
fucking scared again.
where the actual fuck are you?
my fault for believing anything you said in the first place tbh.
oh, isn't it time you got over, how fragile you are?
we're all waiting, waiting on your supernova
because that's who you are,
and you've only begun to shine.
Having all the negative/impulsive thoughts today. Decided to man the fuck up though and see if various people were still going to G's tonight. And can't get hold of all bar one and that one is not going. A little annoyed although I know it's my fault that one isn't going. Just annoyed that I'm out of bed and I don't know what's going on. I hate not knowing what's going on. And when one is managing the crazy thoughts, telling them 'maybe' rather than no because we are doing X positive thing tonight is rather difficult. Doesn't make manning up feel very worthwhile.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
