my boyfriend just broke up with me cuz of my depression and cutting.. my boyfriend before that (who was planning on proposing, he had the ring and everything) broke up with me cuz of my depression and cutting.. my best friend from high school said that he couldnt be around me or talk to me cuz of my depression and mood swings.. my parents always make me feel like i'm never good enough..
so why should i try anymore? i'm never going to be good enough and i will just ruin any relationship i go into. I'm just someone for guys to take advantage of.. and to use and just throw out when their done with me..
I'm done.. done trying.. done caring.. why should i try or care? my life isn't going anywhere.. i cant pass my classes cuz of my depression.. i dont know what i want to do with my life.. i feel like it has no purpose anymore..
i'm just wasted space that no one wants..
i know none of thats true.. but damn it sure feels like it..
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
My ex has depression, and she has it bad. She told me about it a month into our relationship, and there were many days where she would be incredibly down, self-harming, and suicidal. She a couple of times cut herself while talking to me on cam, and once said we needed to break up as she wanted to commit suicide.
Did this change my love her her? No, not at all. It arguably made me even more endeared to her because I saw something I love with all my heart really hurting and I wanted them to be good. Eventually I got her to see therapists, and she's on anti-depressants, and we began turning her depression around. She's by no means over it at all, but we made strides. Even after she's broken my heart and treated me like crap, it still means the world to me that she's ok.
My point here is, my girlfriend's depression didn't change a thing for me. Of course Id rather she didnt have it, but it didnt push me away. And im no special guy. There will be plenty of guys who will really pour their heart into you and really help you out with things. You just need to be on the lookout for them. I wont make personal judgements on you as we dont know each other :p, but my ex has the horrible trait of being attracted to guys who mess her about, made me special apparently that im not like that. Avoid anyone who seems likely to do so, and find someone who has a good heart. They are out there.
I'm just afraid I'll never find them.. or that I'll be so lost in my depression that I wont give them a chance or wont even notice them. My problem is that I go for any guy that shows he likes me.. simply cuz I hate being alone and single..
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
I'm just afraid I'll never find them.. or that I'll be so lost in my depression that I wont give them a chance or wont even notice them. My problem is that I go for any guy that shows he likes me.. simply cuz I hate being alone and single..
I understand your worries, my ex was also incredibly worried about telling me she had depression cause she felt like i'd walk away. She gave me the chance, and did I go anywhere? Not at all, I stuck by her until the day she gave me up for someone else.
You hate being alone and single, thats fair enough, wont pretend I like it! My ex broke up with me, so im alone and single and completely depressed, so I hear ya. But the mindset of 'any relationship is more helpful to me than none' isnt the right one. Going with anybody will only increase your chances of getting hurt. You want to find that right guy, but you need to be looking for him. Going with the first guy to show you affection, only increases the chance that he'll be a guy who might mess you about. I think you need to try and look more for somebody with a good heart who will have your best intentions at heart.
He used the 'I care about you so I can't be with you.' Excuse.. It doesn't even make sense. If he cared wouldn't he stay with me and help me instead of causing more pain and breaking my heart? He said 'I love you and care about you so I can't be with you cuz you don't need a relationship.' No.. I need my bf to be supportive and help me in any way possible. Not run away from me and wish me luck.
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
He used the 'I care about you so I can't be with you.' Excuse.. It doesn't even make sense. If he cared wouldn't he stay with me and help me instead of causing more pain and breaking my heart? He said 'I love you and care about you so I can't be with you cuz you don't need a relationship.' No.. I need my bf to be supportive and help me in any way possible. Not run away from me and wish me luck.
I don't understand how people can say they care about you and do something like that :/ I hope you have friends who are actually supportive atm? *hugs* you really don't deserve to have someone treat you like that, no-one does!
Most of my friends either don't have the slightest clue that I deal with depression and SH, and the ones that do know don't talk to me anymore because of it. I have one friend who I've been friends with since FOREVER who deals with the same stuff but we don't like to talk about stuff like that.
It's just hard cuz I'm so madly in love with my ex still. He was perfect in every way except that one little thing :( sigh... I wish I could quit my SH :'(
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
I'm sorry. :( *lots of hugs* I can only say that I have the same thoughts of things. I tend to keep people at a distance so people don't find out about me cause they might go away cause people already do with me so I don't need to give people another reason. As far as guys I have the same fears and I've never dated anyone.
I just try to remind myself that if a guy really cared and loved you he wouldn't leave cause of it even if things are tough. I'm similar in I'm not an easy person to be with (even just friends) cause I can have intense emotions and such so it will take someone who really cares to stay. I think the person will come along. *hugs*
"Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. Even if it sounds corny don't let no one tell you you aren't beautiful." ~ Eminem
I am sorry that happened. But I agree with EnglishMan that going with any guy will increase your chances of getting hurt. This sounds cliche, but it's true. You have to learn to love yourself. You have to learn to be okay with being single and living your life to the fullest. Use the time that you are single to do the things you've always wanted to do. Take some classes that focus on some of your hobbies.
Put yourself out there to meet people, but don't focus all your attention on finding someone. Love happens when you least expect it. And someone who leaves you because of your struggles isn't someone you want to be with anyway. Be patient. Chances are you'll find someone. After all the world is a big place.
