Ur the only one who wants to talk to me any time of the day. I miss u talking to me and being there. Being on my own sucks :( no one else likes me like u did
Tonight has proved, as I have suspected for the last three months, that you are the best thing ever. A huge part of me healed tonight, in a way I'd never have dreamt, and I feel giddy thinking about it. Every day you help me to break free more and more and I love you. I'm so glad that I took that risk and went for it three months ago.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm fully aware that I sound like a spoilt brat here. You gave me your blessing to be with the person who makes my world go round and I ought to just stick to being grateful about that and stop whining. I guess your beautiful performance tonight should serve as a warning of how lucky I am that you approve of me and le midget, because if you didn't, the emotional blackmail may well have destroyed me.
I should be grateful right now but I'm not. I'm sulky and stroppy because I'm 22 and you shouldn't have the power to manipulate me in this way. I'm unsure whether the fault here lies with you or me. Maybe it's me. I need some lessons in being able to exist and do things without my parents' approval, otherwise I'll forever be a child in grown up clothing, following orders and living to please them.
Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it's because you're just so bloody beautiful, I agreed with what you said. I probably shouldn't have exposed my arms but being covered up ninety percent of the time, rolling up my sleeves is a small luxury of mine. You felt my scars which made me a tad uncomfortable and questioned why I did it, I lied and said it was a phase and you went into detail about so much issues which were do much more devastating than mine. I enjoyed our conversation, even if I didn't agree with it.
On another note, I'm a little drunk and I have no idea if thid makes sense :
Tonight has proved, as I have suspected for the last three months, that you are the best thing ever. A huge part of me healed tonight, in a way I'd never have dreamt, and I feel giddy thinking about it. Every day you help me to break free more and more and I love you. I'm so glad that I took that risk and went for it three months ago.
^^ reading that made me all happy and bubbly inside (:
that was a very large and sharp razor we just used in the lab. maybe i'm going the wrong way, career-wise? oh hell, i know i am.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I thought of you today. I think of you every day. I believe in God just so I can believe you're safe. Maybe it's good you were gone before I had a chance to destroy you. Forgive me?
I'm so happy we're back on track, Mumma. I missed you and I'm sorry I didn't pick up on what was really wrong but I'm glad we've talked and sorted everything out and thank you for telling me I've done nothing wrong, I knew I hadn't but the reassurance has made me feel much better. I love you very much.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm not so sure how much longer it's going to last. At first it seemed like forever... but now I don't know. My mind is changing. I'm not seeing the same things you do. Now, I'd want to wait beyond next year for it. I don't think I'd want to right when I'm 18. I want to go to college, have a "normal" student life, get a degree, then go somewhere else. And don't really know how 'that' fits in the picture. Honestly, I think I need to be away from it for a while. I'm not even sure that I can really handle being with anybody (not just you). It hurts so much to know that only a month or so ago we were talking about the future and next year... and now my thoughts that it might not last are devastating. I still care about you and only wish you the best, but maybe that "best" isn't with me. *sighs* I feel horrible. I'm sorry.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I know I'm a piece of shit but it would be really nice if someone actually WANTED to talk to me instead of me imposing on people in quiet desperate need to not be on my own all the time. Sigh.
I thought you were there for me I thought you always would be. Now i feel completely alone, i dont know what to do of where to go. Im struggling and all i want is for you to hold me and make me feel safe like you used to, but i meant nothing to you, I need you.
I love you
Just_Different < because that's what I am
Anyone feel free to PM me ill always try to reply =]
I thought you were there for me I thought you always would be. Now i feel completely alone, i dont know what to do of where to go. Im struggling and all i want is for you to hold me and make me feel safe like you used to, but i meant nothing to you, I need you.
I love you
*hugs* ^^
"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"
"Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are" only a PM away for ANYONE
Gem [smurfette] is my little sister and my princess <3
R.I.P. Keith....31/10/12....forever missed
R.I.P. Lewis....18/01/13....forever I'll love you, forever missed
