There's not even anything to be your fault so that is just silly.
You were exceptional last night. In fact, the reason I was so pissed at Y was because her poor show was more obvious when her behaviour was evaluated next to yours. I'm proud of you. Now stop being a troll and let me in and let me help.
disclaimer. Y is not a member of this site whichever of you silly beans stalk this and get paranoid.
you should have just let me get on with it and fucking die you bastards.
then all this pain could have been avoided.
and no, i am not seeing you tomorrow to give you a chance to section me, i know you are on AMHP duty on fridays, bitch.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm sorry I wasted that food. I could have brought it home and put it in the cupboard, for mum to eat or something, but I couldn't deal with it being on me. I'm sorry for wasting it, I'm sorry I panicked and freaked and just had to get it off my person.
"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness…people would be fairer and happier." Paulo Coelho
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
I am sick to f-ing death of spending all my time trying to help others but yet having to do everything by myself. But as I keep telling myself, over and over, if I achieve this by myself then nobody can take it away from me, nobody else can take credit for it. I'll of made it by myself. Thats what I keep focusing on every time this gets too hard, this is about nothing but my my future, my future happiness. And I'm not gonna let anybody get in the way of that. And most definitely not you you drunken bitch. Im sick of your lies, your manipulation, your filthy temper and your fucking idiocy. You think youre gods gift let me tell you a little secret YOU'RE A FUCKING IMBECILE. And its amplified a hundred times when youre drunk. And every time this happens, you get drunk and are cruel to me and try and ruin something for me or try and hurt me, you apologise a few days later, say it wont happen again... but its never ever gonna change is it. So thats why Im doing this, and why Im not going to quit no matter how hard it gets. Because this is gonna allow me one day to get on a one way flight to Australia, and Im going to go and create the life my Dad wanted me to have. Im gonna walk the dogs on the beach in the morning, Im going to go to work and work with vulnerable people and try and help them find their own little piece of happiness and then Im gonna go home to a family that loves me. A family where nobodys gonna get drunk and hit out at eachother, a family where nobody is ever gonna be thrown out the house, a family where we will treat eachother with love and respect. And you can stay here, cleaning, drinking your red wine and brandy and eating your chocolate cake. And do you know what I will not be manipulated or guilt tripped in to feeling bad about it. Because youve hurt me for enough years. I will not let you take me down. Im making everything about me now, Im looking out for number 1, because without Dad nobody else is going to look out for me are they. So Im gonna do this, alone, and its going to be tough and theres going to be times like tonight where youre being a drunken cow and Im going to sit here and cry and think if only my Daddy were here, if only I didnt have to do everything alone, if only there was someone who I could turn to for advice and support and love. But Im going to keep going anyway. So that one day I can look back and go I made it. It will happen. I will do this. And nothing you say or do, no amount of abuse you hurl at me, no amount of drunken hitting out, no amount of telling me how stupid and awful I am will stop me. Im going to do this. Accept it. I will not fail. And the success will be entirely my own and nothing you can do will take it away from me.
'Where did I go wrong
My life's a bargain basement, all the good shits gone
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
Im just sick of being surrounded by arseholes. Honestly is it too much just to have some nice genuine people in my life. But then when I do meet those people they dont hang around do they, or they change, or they start doing stupid things. L, youre another one thats its not your fault but youre not bright, and youre sweet and kind which is why youre my friend but by god you drive me nuts. You dont want to spend your money on driving you want to spend it on living? Then dont fucking expect me to fork out to give you fucking lifts everywhere you selfish bitch. I couldnt believe you actually said that. M, youve changed, you were such a sweet boy when I met you, not youre a total dick. I just dont understand why I cant have decent people in my life. I have to do this. I have to keep going. I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other thats all. But its so hard and Im so tired and so alone in the world and I just dont want it to be this hard anymore.
'Where did I go wrong
My life's a bargain basement, all the good shits gone
I want to get really, really drunk, cut myself to shreds and curl up and cry. And I haven't a fucking clue why.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm unsure if Tumblr saved my life or ruined it. Everyone seems to be so judgmental there, and it never used to be that way. I'm just so done with everything right now. I'm done with my brother, I'm done with my girlfriend, I'm done with my family, I'm done with my friends, and I'm done with me. I want to change. I want to just ignore everyone and just live somewhere else away from people.
When I'm gone, are you gonna miss me? Are you even listening? Do you even care about anything at all?
I cleaned most of the house yesterday, when none of the mess was mine because I've been at Boo's or hibernating in my room & you have the audacity to wake me up by shouting at me outside my room when I'm really not well and after you promised many times you'd never interrupt my sleep, because you want me to do more fucking cleaning. With commissions & my mehndi, I work twice the hours you do a week. Do something yourself. Leave me the fuck alone. And then you wonder why our bond is fading - treat me with some respect and let's see how that goes.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
![[Luna]'s Avatar](image.php?s=a6cd55f8e3c34a47f5e48e6bd74bc158&u=32920&dateline=1692390196)
