I wish you knew that 3 years on you still cause me so much pain. I wish you knew the exact consequences of your actions. How nice is it for you to do what you wanted and act like nothing happened when I have ended up struggling with this for so long?
I wish I had been brave enough then to report it.
I wish I was brave enough now to report it. But what is the point, nothing will come of it.
I know it is probably the fact that it is highly likely BPD is pwning your social interactions but you need to stop attacking me unfairly. I spend enough time beating myself up without you doing the same, especially given all the times I've been there for you when you're in pieces.
(disclaimer, not about anyone on RYL for the paranoid kids in the audience)
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
No I can't 'Just go to the uni if you want to work'. I am scared of leaving the house- to do so is An Achievement. You know shit all about me or what I have to deal with for good reason. So shut up and don't you dare tell me your iplayer viewing is more important than my sodding degree- I don't need any help to fail it.
I'm trying so damn hard but it isn't helping. I've been in semi crisis for months but just about holding it together bar one or two hairy moments. You, someone who is supposed to care for me blatantly lying about the car you sold me has really hurt, coupled with finding out X has a 'mass' on the brain they are having to operate on next week, going back to Uni and realising I can't concentrate for more than five minutes and there are ALL the people there, G still not being well is making things feel pretty damn stressful and hopeless. I feel really alone and vulnerable and I don't know how to push through it.
So fucking sick of my health. Fucking ruins everything. I am so scared she's going to get sick of it, and of me. That would break my heart; she is the colour in my world.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
So fucking sick of my health. Fucking ruins everything. I am so scared she's going to get sick of it, and of me. That would break my heart; she is the colour in my world.
*hugs*
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if i could have heveans telephone number it'd be great right now, im not coping and need to talk to him but that'd be unallowed
help?
"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"
"Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are" only a PM away for ANYONE
Gem [smurfette] is my little sister and my princess <3
R.I.P. Keith....31/10/12....forever missed
R.I.P. Lewis....18/01/13....forever I'll love you, forever missed
You are pissing me off.
I'm not just here for you to use as you will.
I don't NEED to make time for you.
I'm being really nice right now.
If this doesn't work out, it is NOT my fault.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
And I feel like the freak out is coming. Please please please will you just text me back or call me to say you're on your way, or just walk through that door now because it's building up in my brain and I don't know what to do with it.
