I don't feel safe enough to go tomorrow, I'm sorry. I don't want to let you down but equally I don't think you are able to comprehend just how frightened I am at the moment. This is not something I am dramatizing for fun and attention; I am literally terrified. If it was somebody I knew taking me tomorrow then it would be okay but I can't go with a stranger, I'm sorry.
I wish I was a whiny little copycat fake who had NONE of the problems and made everything up for attention. Then I would have NONE of the scars, NONE of the diagnoses and NONE of the impediments in my way to the future I want for me and J.
It sucks that you said it, it sucks that you published sensitive information about me and my family on the internet, it sucks that you got away with it, but what sucks most of all is that you were wrong.
I wish it was just the three of us huni!
We only argue when it comes to your family. You get upset with them, i get upset, dylan gets upset and we start arguing. Its not fair. I hate the bullying, judging and condescending behaviour.
1. I'm ugly, clumsy, awkward and quite frankly, I have a self esteem that is barely existent. It takes a lot for me to believe that anyone could ever like me. But you act like you like me. Everyone goes on about the fact that you like me. But then you crush me and bring me right back to looking like a complete twat and feeling about 2cm tall all because you haven't got the balls to be straight with me about whether you like me or not.
2. LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Let me just self destruct by myself. It's going to happen anyway and talking to you doesn't help, it makes it worse. Stop thinking you can fix it, stop thinking you have a right to know, stop thinking that you can ask me whether I've eaten in front of all my friends so they all think something is up. Stop thinking that you are better than me. Just because I have issues doesn't mean I can't function in other areas of life, stop acting like I can't handle anything and I need babysitting. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. Being with you doesn't make me happy. You make me feel so trapped. I hate that. I've been trying to get away from that all my life. It's why I've got problems!
my birthday should be the best day of my year but because you're not going to be here to help me be with me and look after me, it wont be this year
I miss you....
"pretty pretty please dont you ever ever feel like your less than less than perfect"
"Don't ever change, you're perfect the way you are" only a PM away for ANYONE
Gem [smurfette] is my little sister and my princess <3
R.I.P. Keith....31/10/12....forever missed
R.I.P. Lewis....18/01/13....forever I'll love you, forever missed
Your the best support worker i have ever had but the fact that your only temporary and could leave at any moment scares the hell out of me.
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
I don't know why you've taken to me so much & I don't know why you've done so much for me already but I promise that I'll make you proud and do all I can to pay you back for this. Your support and love means the world. Thank you for giving me my dream. Love you, Mama S.
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You are the best thing that could possibly have ever happened to me at this time in my life. Everything is falling beautifully into place and there you are, gently prodding them into place and making my world such a wonderful one.
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How are you finding the world, Dexter? I hope everything is beautiful for you. Aunty Marie loves you very much. Ill do anything I have to to see you soon, I promise.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
-I'm worried about you. But you can take care of yourself so I shouldn't be pestering you. But then I really want to, all the damn time. Because I didn't when I should've and I regret it. I regret everything these days.
Getting up should not be this difficult. First day back at Uni. I feel sick and I don't know if that is tiredness or anxiety or both. All I know is I am counting the minutes until I can crawl back into bed and hide. Please, please, please let my car make it to Uni and back ok as well. I don't think I can cope with that breaking today as well.
My brain's already gone into self destruct mode but I'm going to fight it and prove to you that you can trust me to be good. Prove that I can be an adult and survive healthily on my own.
This is going to be so hard....
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
