Not coping well at all right now, to scared to sleep I think they go get me and hurt me again. I don't know what to do I'm scared, I just want to run away, I want to disappear I don't want to live this life anymore, I've had enough now can't take nomore.
Why do they want to keep hurting me ? What have I done wrong? Their last message said 'see you soon' and that's all it said. I'm so scared.
you havent done anything wrong hun. they have. i dont understand how anyone can hurt people like this...somethin is verywrong with them, to get pleasure out of hurtin someone. also a very selfish thing. can you get an alarm system set up for your place? the kind where when you set the alarm, if any door or window is opened it goes off, and if the passcode isnt put in then the police come. do you have that in the uk? ask the police lady what all can do to stay safe. great job on not hurtin for a long time! proud of you :D remember about nhs too.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
they said i is bad and evil, they said i need to be punished to be taught a lesson, they said i need to keep my mouth shut or else. but i confused if i tell im wrong but if i dont tell they hurt me anyway for telling before, what am i supposed to do?
my head is a complete mess i just cant deal with all this anymore, flashbacks are horrendous just now and they are so real i cant live like this i just cant
Sweetie, please call and tell the police lady who can help you with, all i know you're hurting alots. Please, get help and looked after yourself. Don't let them get in your house until the alarm sets in okay? If they are coming, press the button when they are coming to arrest them before coming in the house.
i couldnt tell the police lady yesteday cause she had to cancel cause she had something urgent at work to deal with, but she is coming to see me later today and i will try and tell her then.
i am a complete wreck right now and really struggling to hold myself together, im getting lots of bad horrible disgusting messages through from them, threatening me and telling me what they go to do to me next. im so scared i just want to escape all this pain and everything, i dont want to be here anymore i want it all to be over now.
i cant stay strong anymore i cant do this im sorry
i did manage to talk to the police lady yesterday, i told her some of what they ddto me but couldnt manage it all i just fell apart. i also showed her the messages they keep sending me and she is going to look into them. she said if i see them watching my house anymore to call the police straight away. she also said when they catch them they will be going to prison for a very long time, but but they got to catch havent they? what if they dont and they keep hurting me?
im sorry just no feel goods sorry
im really struggling just now, i feel like ive lost control of myself the voices and thoughts have taken over. i dont no what im doing anymore im just a complete mess. i been hurting myself more and more and did something stupid in the early hours, i bad i so bad.
the flashbacks are getting so bad that i keep slipping from past to present all the time, they feel so real at the time that its like its happening all over again. im really struggling to cope with them and with the voices on top i cant do this.
the messages from them still havent stopped i thought they would once i showed the police lady but they havent, theyre gonna get me again i just no it, what was the point in telling, maybe they no ive told, oh no no no please no.
make sure you do call right away if see them watchin you, and don't open the door and try not to let them see you if can. you have that panic button thing still?
no, tellin police lady wont make the messages stop. they dont know youve told and takes time for police to be able to catch them. def keep saving and showing to police; its valuable evidence. was a good thing to tell, the more the police know the easier will be for them to arrest all of them.
how are you doin with the flashbacks and voices now jo? none of its real, try to tell self that. i know its scary.
its ok to be scared. *hugs* no sorry's. whatd you do in early hours? not been on for two days..get medical treatment if needed?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
im sorry ive not been on for a while, lots of stuff happened and i went away for a while. im back home now really wish i wasnt though it doesnt feel good being here.
im not doing so good at the moment really struggling with everything, im sorry for bringing back this thread i hope its ok too.
What's been going on Jo? I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but don't apologise for using this thread, this is your thread after all it's here for you to use :) *sending healing cuddles*
i m really struggling just now and very low, flashbacks are so bad just now and they are so real that it feels like its all happening over again. my body still hurts from what they did to me and im so scared bout being home again. i just want to disappear for ever.
Does anyone else know what's going on, the police or anyone else? I'm sorry you're struggling so much, it all sounds really very hard to deal with, but you've had to deal with a lot and you're very strong so you can get through this too.
thanks bethany,
the police are aware of whats going on but theyre not having much luck doing anything about it just now. i feel so alone and scared and i hate feeling like this, i wish the bad thoughts and felings would go away, i wish the voices would stop screaming at me cause i cant cope with them anymore. then theres the flashbacks and body memories which are so real, and no grounding techniques seem to help.
i dont think i can do this anymore *curls up crying*
That all sounds really hard to deal with, but you're stronger than you give yourself credit for, you can get through this. Are the police hoping to catch who is doing this? Are you taking any medication at the moment for how you're feeling and the voices and things?
You can do this Jo, it might not be easy but you can do it, *sending healing cuddles*
i dont feel very strong right now i feel like im falling apart, losing it i dont feel like me anymore. yes the police are trying to catch who is doing this but its hard without much physical evidence being left behind, we had this problem last time too. i am on medication but its not doing much with the voices at the moment they need to review it again, nothing seems to help right now. maybe im beyond help.
im not doing good at all today not slept cause i kept hearing things, flashbacks are horrendous just now and the voices are telling me to do bad things to myself. i feel out of control and scared.
*cuddles into you*
Sounds like things are very difficult for you at the moment, do you have anyone else in your life who could help to support you during this time? Professionals or friends etc?
I hope the medication review might be of some help, maybe they'd be able to offer you something to take along side what you're already taking, but I'm sure they'd know more about that sort of thing than me.
How are you feeling today? Do you have grounding/ calming techniques to help get you through the flashbacks?
things are horendous just now an im not coping at all well, i dont really have anyone in my life to suport me no friends close by and no professionals.
im just trying to struggle on my own and im not doing a very good job of managing.
im hoping the med review will help some, not that ive been able to make the appointment yet, but i will soon. i know i need to do this. im just finding everything so hard right now its taking all my strength just surviving each day. the voices and flashbacks seem to be getting a whole lot worse and i cant deal with them. i feel so low and alone and scared i dont want to live my life like this, if this is how its gonna be i just want it over with.
i want to be able to stay in the present during flashbacks but i cant, i want the body memories to stop, i cant do this no more.
things are horendous just now an im not coping at all well, i dont really have anyone in my life to suport me no friends close by and no professionals.
im just trying to struggle on my own and im not doing a very good job of managing.
im hoping the med review will help some, not that ive been able to make the appointment yet, but i will soon. i know i need to do this. im just finding everything so hard right now its taking all my strength just surviving each day. the voices and flashbacks seem to be getting a whole lot worse and i cant deal with them. i feel so low and alone and scared i dont want to live my life like this, if this is how its gonna be i just want it over with.
i want to be able to stay in the present during flashbacks but i cant, i want the body memories to stop, i cant do this no more.
im sorry for whinging just sorry
I can't read all this my mind wont focus today but I'm here, I care
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ive ot been on in a few days im really struggling with everything and stuff has just got so bad, i feel completely wrecked and out of it. im on higher doses of medication and im just like a zombie most of the time and i dont like it, ive still got the voices and theyre driving me mad and making me do stuff to myself.
flashbacks are horrendus and i keep disasociating ( sorry bout spellin) and im finding it hard to cope.
im sorry if i been moaning
