Ive been trying to reply to this for a while but i cant find anything calming and such to say.
i cant imagine how shit things must feel now Becs, you and Jasmine are both in my thoughts and i hope everything works out in your favour for both your sakes.
I know it's hard but make sure you take some time for yourself.
xox
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
im really sorry to read this and sorry im useless with words at the mo so im going to steal the words of all of those above me after your last reply [and prob many before too!] cos i agree with them all and they echo my sentiments exactly!
i cant imagine how this must leave you feeling but it really is great that people seem to be wanting to all fight your corner and i hope Monday goes positively for you and Jasmine.ive been reading your threads and you sound like your such a fab Mum, have been working really hard and been doing so so well Becky and i know this is a bit unexpected but please try and stay strong.i know you'll get through and i'll be thinking of you.i really hope theres a positive outcome cos it really is what you and Jasmine both deserve especially after all your hard work.
i'll be thinking of you this weekend and Monday too [as always - but with that extra bit of hope for a posititve day!]
Much love and hugs for you both [if wanted - understand if not!]
xx xx
PS I can understand you getting angry with the nurse, i would of done too and well done for how you dealt with the situation with the social worker when you were understandably angry too. Yes with the nurse situation you shouted/swore at the staff [and no thats not great] but could have been far worse and i think how you dealt with both those situations really does show how much youve improved.So really well done.Just waned to add that and now i'll shut up sorry! xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
im a bit of an emotional wreck.
i haven't expressed enough milk for tomorrow and social workers dont work weekends so we cant ask them if i can take Jasmine, id rather not take her to court, but i dont know what else to do.
i havent been able to express much milk because ive been so stressed.
the chip that was in my brain was removed. i had a shower yesterday (after suddenly realising i hadn't had one in about 4 days!) and i felt a sore lump on my head while i was washing my hair which is where it came out of.
there were microchips all over the park when i was walking back from the shop. (deactivated ones)
i thought this was a good thing, but Jasmine wouldnt stop crying last night, she wouldnt even feed.
they must have gotten to her while i was out. i shouldnt have gone.
they made her not feed so that it will be easier to take her away.
she is better today though.
the ward manager said to another staff member that i did so well not to lose it with the social worker, hope i can have that much control tomorrow.
im bricking it, quite honestly.
just got to keep calm.
oh, and i found something in the report which is basically written evidence that social services are bullshitting. this could work in my favour.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Have you been able to think of what to do with Jasmine tomorrow yet hon? Are you able to express some more over night perhaps (not ideal but perhaps preferable to formula?) A bit of nipple stimulation can go far...
If you do go without her, I'd be tempted to take your pump (or whatever you've been using) to express and pop in some extra breast pads! I had a bday party when Ethan was 6wks and had to 'relieve' myself in loo's due to the pain!
I'm sure you'll be fine Beckie. You have constantly shown you are a good mum and it seems all the professionals agree (with the exception of silly social worker)
I'm praying for you and sending positive and calming vibes <3 I'm just a text away if you want to chat or anything x
PS.
After utilising my impeccable stalking skills... Could you perhaps write down anything you think you'll find hard to say out loud, then you could show it to the barrister when you get to court. Also having been in children's court, with judges&barristers etc., I just wanted to add that they know you're not used to this stuff, and they tend to be more relaxed with 'lay peoples' like us. Plus the judge will expect you to be nervous etc. and will most likely take this into account when talking to you. Maybe talk to you barrister or the staff about what to do if you get to worked up or emotional and need a recess?
Last edited by [Awakening] : 12-08-2012 at 11:40 PM.
Reason: added bits
Jocelyn, i wish i had seen your post before i went!
i was away from Jasmine for about 5 hours today. nothing was decided apart from another date. we are going again in a few weeks, thats when shit gets real. the ward consultant is going to make herself available to come to that, thats when shit really gets real. she a consultant for the 3 wards here and the outpatients. its really good she is making the time for this.
i met the solicitor today and she is pretty cool. she said that 'she was really fucked off with social services' i liked her from that moment on!
she said that she couldnt have picked a better judge for this case either.
all in all, it wasnt a bad experience. its everyone against social services.
jasmine has her own spokesperson, who i think is coming to see us soon, so they can see first hand how well im doing with her.
it was weird, we had to go into the courtroom and stand up when the judge came out until they told us to sit down.
the social workers phone went off just as we finished, it would have been brilliant if it had gone off right in the middle of it!
jasmine was so pleased to see me when i got back i nearly cried, she gave me a proper smile and her eyes lit up.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm so glad it went well hon. I'm not sure if they explained but Jasmines spokesperson is court-appointed, and will make recommendations to the judge r.e. where Jasmine will be better off etc.. (I have one of these in my family) My understanding is they're quite good and don't think about the cost of what they're recommending because, unlike social services they aren't attached to local authorities as such. I can't imagine them deciding that a stranger is better for Jasmine than you!
So glad the consultant is going, she sounds really good. Does the solicitor want to meet up with you again before the next court appt?
I'm glad you coped ok without each other today, shows she's well attached ! Did she have enough milk in the end? x
Hey Beckie, I've been following this thread but haven't been able to think of anything to say before the court date. But it sounds like things are going as well as can be expected for now, which is good to hear. Good luck to you and Jasmine, I hope the next court date goes well.
I'm glad you got through it sweetie - it's a bummer that you have yet more time to be thinking about what's going to happen, but at least no decisions have been made and things taken out of your control so far :) It all sounds like people are on your side, and that's so good to hear. xx
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
the solicitor is going to come and see me at some point before the next date.
social services are coming later today to assess me with Jasmine, which they have already done twice :/
the ward manager is going to talk to them about being discreet because of the other mums on the ward, the staff really aren't happy that they are coming, but it will be seen as non-compliance if we don't agree to them doing it.
she did have enough milk, but she guzzled it down in seconds!!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
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! Did she have enough milk in the end? x
