ohfuckoff. Unblock me you silly bitch. I don't even know why I care but I do.
Happy Birthday. I'm sad that we don't talk anymore.
Thank you. What you didn't know was that I had ALL naughty plans for tonight. But you kept me company and made me giggle and gave me a hug and life was a little less woeful for a while. And I'm so glad you're feeling better. You've no idea how pleased I am for you <3
There is a part of me that wants to hate you. That part tells me to let you drift away from me and wonders if you will even miss me. You were such a jackass to me about the whole cutting thing when you were supposed to be my best friend. How could you hurt me like that? Are you jealous that I'm following my dreams and you're making excuses to keep from going after yours? I hope you realize you lost the one person who never judged you and always listened.
You took away my innocence and broke my heart. I will always blame you for that and you will always be convinced you did nothing wrong. I hope karma catches you and runs you over.
Thank you for loving me when I did not deserve to be loved and for putting up with me no matter what. I look up to you more than I can say and I will miss you so much come September.
I am so glad you are blind and don't notice the new scars lining my arms - you thought it stopped when I was 18. I'm totally okay with you not knowing and the idea that you could find out terrifies me.
The closer this is getting, the more I feel it's a bad thing. I don't think I'm going to be able to cope with it. I want to stay as we are. Shush, Marie, you selfish bitch. Everyone else is happy about it. Why aren't I?
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm so sorry L. I really am. I love you so much, and I'll always be here for you. That's a promise. I wish I could be there to hold you and protect you. Please keep on fighting, I know you're hurting and this has made things undoubtedly worse, but you're so strong, please keep holding on.
You have a girlfriend
We kissed on our first meeting which was only a few nights ago.
You have called 3 times today.
I can't not pick up just because I want to hear your voice.
I am spending tuesday night with you and the whole of next weekend.
It feels so wrong morally but so right in reality.
I am such a fucking bitch for screwing someone else's boyfriend except but of me doesn't even feel bad about it.
This is bizarre. Normally I would be ALL the offended to stumble upon a public event on facebook which was basically all my school friends meeting up without me. Even with the comment "please add anyone I've missed", no one remembered to add me. But actually? I'm really not so fussed. Like, 3 years ago, that would of really upset me, but literally, I came to woe about it, almost on auto-pilot, and then suddenly realised that I didn't care.
Maybe I'll soon be completely erased from their sphere of consciousness? And I genuinely won't even give a fuck.
So I wish that I could just tell somebody. That's all. It's been 10 months now, 10 months yesterday. I have talked a lot about since then, and before then. But not about that night. And I need so badly to talk about that night. Just to start from the beginning and tell somebody all of it.
I remember your face. I remember when they carried you downstairs in the wheelchair into the ambulance, and you looked so, so ill, it breaks my heart. And I knew then deep down, I think. And I remember when they talked to us about resuscitation. And I remember seeing your face. And all of it, all of it breaks my heart, and I cannot bear to think about it, but I am thinking about it lately, I don't know why. Maybe it's because it's summer and it's getting closer and closer to being a year. But it hurts so much and I want to tell somebody.
Could we have done something, could we have had more time? I don't understand why it deteriorated so rapidly.
Last edited by Too Shy : 30-06-2012 at 02:26 AM.
Reason: To make it right.
I lied when I told you I didn't have a plan for suicide. I didn't want you to worry any more than you already had. Sure, it was stupid, but I'd do it again, as long as I can protect you as much as possible.
I can't believe how disgustingly fat I am.
How did the mirror not break?
Avoiding to even look at yourself because you're that grotesque.
You're fucking horrible.
You're nothing, worthless, meaningless.
Fucksake.
My wrists are aching from typing.
Feel so fragile
How am I so fragile when I'm so fat?
How's that possible?
Weak bitch.
