Hay I need help

[Kristian]

Its been 11 weeks since the last time I did it I have tried the butter fly project and I'm currently trying the 30 day project. The sad part is im struggling to stay that way. The urges are getting in the way of ever day life. I want to say one day I surived this but I'm struggling to stay S.I. free. I can't even look in the mirrior any more. Everyone says I look great but I feel ugly and no good and worth less. I can see value in everone but myself anymore. I need a way to help myself but I don't know how or what to do to find and get help for myself.

[Lynn134]

First off congratulations on making it 11 weeks! That is a big accomplishment! You should be proud. You have fought the urges so far, you can keep doing it. What is the 30 day project? I've tried the Butterfly project but I have a stronger reason to not cut so that was more prevalent than having something drawn on my arm.
What are your triggers? What are your distraction techniques? Do you have a support team in place that you can contact when you are having strong urges?

[Kristian]

30 Day Self Harm Challenge
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
3. What is your motivation to recover?
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
6. What about it do you enjoy?
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.
8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?
9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.
10. How do you feel about your scars?
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had?
14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?
15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they?
16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm?
17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves?
18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.
19. List 5 reasons that recovery is worth it.
20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm.
21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?
22. Where do you feel the most calm?
23. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?
25. Do you know any statistics about self harm?
26. What is something that makes you the most happy?
27. Discuss any and all progress you have made.
28. What short-term goals do you have?
29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs?
30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.
is the 30 callenge what triggers me is when i see someone in pain and i cant help because when i was little i had a group of people who were soppoused help me though one of the biggest things in my life my mothers death. So that event has made me stop and help ever one I can. What I do to disstract myself is remove myself from the event thats causeing it. I have a small support team just a few ex cutters and a few other friends

[Lynn134]

So you are suppose to do #1 on day 1 and #2 on day 2? Is that how the 30 day challenge works? Interesting. this is the first I have heard of it.

Your trigger....do you think you are more triggered by people in pain or your mother's death? I can understand the feeling of wanting to help others. I am like that. I always want to help people however I can, even if I am over extending myself. I have come to learn, however that I may not be able to help EVERYONE. I can try, but I also need to be realistic. When you help others does it replace the feelings of abandonment you experienced when you were younger?

[crazykat]

First of all congratulations on making it 11 weeks that is an amazing achievement and shows that you have the strength to fight this. It's great that you are using different methods to try and distract from the urges too, it shows that you are really trying to beat this which is fantastic.

It's a hard thing to feel like you need to help everyone and stop them from feeling pain but unfortunately this is not possible. We can try but we are only going to end up wearing ourselves out. Do you think you try and help everyone to make up for the abandonment you felt when you were younger?

It's great that you have some form of a support team, have you ever considered getting professional support though to help you work through what you went through when you were younger, as it sounds like it is still having a significant impact on your life right now.

Have you ever tried any other distractions to help you cope with the urges. Sometimes having a big list of things you can try can be helpful as if one thing doesn't work then there are other options available to you. You might find it really useful to have a look at the big distraction list which is a huge list of different distractions. Keep fighting, you will get through this. Take care
Kat xxx

[PassedExpectations]

i've never heard of this challenge, but i like it for the most part. are you finding it helpful? i can see how some of the days might get a little triggering. i don't know if i could have done this when i was really struggling not to harm on a daily basis.

[Kristian]

Sorry I havent responded sooner. Yes it dous take away the pain. I have been looking into professional treament but do not know how to go about it or where to start.

[PassedExpectations]

usually a good place to start is with your GP... or if you are at school, a school counselor

[Kristian]

im gonna talk to a buddy whos a emt and try to get some help for it