Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Ta, Hol's going great apart from the bit where I decided I shouldn't have any trouble sleeping, have maybe slept 1 whole nights worth since Friday. Off to a pharacy soon to see what they have to help me out
Hey guys. This is a post about showing emotion, or the inability to show emotion.
So my mum's dad died a few days ago and the whole family has been in town to be together and have the funeral. My mum and her siblings are pretty sad, of course. There are many times during the day when people get teary-eyed and it just can't be held in anymore. I have a lot of cousins on my mum's side of the family because mum is one of seven children. None of the male cousins have gotten in town yet, but there are a handful of female cousins. The girls are just as frequently breaking down in tears.
Anyway, the thing I wanted to bring up is that I'm not really grieving. I mean I am, a little, inside. It's a sad time of course, and my grandfather will definitely be missed. I would see him at least once a month. But it's very awkward for me because for one thing I can't cry. I don't know if that a male thing (if I may stereotype men into being less emotional creatures) or just a me thing. It's a strange thing, because this is the closest to death I've been. It's tragic seeing how upset people get about death. I'm not really upset by it. Someone has left us and will never be seen again, that's a sad thought, but nothing I would dwell on. Death is just death. It's a part of life and I don't see it as something to get very emotional about. It's a revelation, too. I've read those things about how suicide affects those close to you, but now I can actually grasp how people react to loss of life. To imagine people being so sad about me is very upsetting. I wouldn't want that. Why do people get so sad about death? I don't know if it's insensitive or not, but it makes being around family very uncomfortable. I feel like I shouldn't be around everyone since they're all visibly upset by the loss, and me, I'm sitting there wondering why I don't feel what they feel. I hug my cousin as she's breaking down in tears and struggle to find words. Should there be any words? I wonder how I should look. Upset but still manly enough not to break down? How the fck am I supposed to react?
What about you guys? Have you experienced death and might I ask how you reacted to it? I wonder if it's normal for me to be more emotionally strong then my female relatives or if I'm just insensitive to death.
Hi all, Im Evan and I am a guy...lol well to the above post, I used to be emotionally stronger than others in my life but that all went down the tubes once I found love and opened myself up to females....
I am not sure I am nessesarily emotionally weaker than I was before, but I definatly am feeling weaker and more in touch with my emotions.... I opened myself up to my girlfriend/fiancee, and I allowed myself so much hope and was confident that I would be loved unconditionally.... its like I gave her a huge part of myself, maybe even tge best part of myself, then she took it away put it in her pocket and said bye...... so yea, I'm a guy and I feel weak and way too emotional and I cry alot more than ever before...
This is my take on emotionality for men. There is an expectation that men should be strong, physically and emotionally. I don't think that it is necessarily the case. Statistically I would think that men are less emotional than women, but that doesn't mean that men don't show emotions. It means that they deal with it differently. It also makes me wonder how much of an influence society's rules have had over the outward expression of emotions. Perhaps men and women have the exact same cognitive emotional responses but society has 'scarred' men into behaving a certain way.
Either way, I think it's perfectly acceptable for men to show emotion, to feel weak, helpless, or distraught. And maybe, as in your case Evan, we try to meet an expectation. After becoming close to someone you realise that the expectations you needed to, well, find a mate, aren't reality, and you can come out of our shells more because you are safe to be yourself finally, without being judged.
Another part of me thinks it's all useless. Emotion is entirely unreal, a creation of civilisation. I've tried to find an example where emotion is instinctive, hard-wired into our brains. The only one I have come across is fear, and the funny thing about fear is that there are two kinds of fear (in english we just don't differentiate between the two). One is instinctive, it's the one that makes the hair on your neck stand up. The other is a learned reaction; unreal.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Well, anyway, emotionality is something I struggle with both as a male and as a... nihilist?
Perhaps I should try harder to meet expectations....
Asura, thanks for the welcome, and I agree with what you are saying. Its just so tough being human and having emotions at all because having said emotions really can seem to be a burden.... but without emotions we couldnt feel happiness which would kinda suck. All i know is that I sometimes wish that I wouldve stayed single and kept myself from caring about anyone. It seems that I am prone to caring so much more than maybe i should and letting myself be manipulated by my own ignorance...
Hey there. I'm a man and I decided to say hi while I'm still in good mental shape. Also, ignore the username. It's old and I went through a terrible musical stage at the time :P
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Grrrrr.....it's gonna suck getting a job, especially because im so young :/
"I don't know why i cut myself, god, give me a sign or help, i won't cry, it'll be fine, ill take my last breath, push it out my chest, till there's nothing left."
------------------------------------------------------------
Hollywood undead
Though I'd start here tbh.. anyone else here feel like they dont like sterotypical males? I like being a guy, im not questioning that - and im also hetrosexual, there is no questioning that. But I feel so secluded because I just want a really long loving hug from her.. but I feel im being made to believe because Im a guy, its a strange thing to want.
Yxzy, good luck getting a job, there might be a lot of competition but don't get discouraged there's a job just waiting for you to apply to fill it, what kind of work are you looking for?
Dom, I know what you mean I hate the stereotype, its all grr macho grunt beer sports.
But its perfectly ok to want some affection, if anything accepting your feelings and showing them is harder to do than to follow what is "normal" so surely you're more of a man for it.
Though I'd start here tbh.. anyone else here feel like they dont like sterotypical males? I like being a guy, im not questioning that - and im also hetrosexual, there is no questioning that. But I feel so secluded because I just want a really long loving hug from her.. but I feel im being made to believe because Im a guy, its a strange thing to want.
I have felt that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yxzy
Grrrrr.....it's gonna suck getting a job, especially because im so young :/
Employment employment. This summer with be my 5th summer up at camp and I currently have a job working at my uni. My uni job is more like learning a trade than anything else.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Not all men are cold and unfeeling pieces of metal meant to endure any form of stress or beating. In fact, that's probably the point of having a thread just for males. It's a place for men to talk candidly about their lives without the pressures that society force upon them.
Nous avons abrité tous les rêves du monde,
Et c'est dans le soleil que nous avons grandi.
