I need to have a bit of a moan and since it is related to Asperger's I thought it would be better to post it in this thread rather than making a whole new topic. Also, I'm massively paranoid that the person I'm ranting about will somehow happen to be on this forum, read what I've written, work out who I am and that I'm talking about her etc. Due to said paranoid, names have been changed.
It might be a bit long but I need to get it out of my system.
I started college in September. A girl, who I'll refer to as Anna, rubbed me up the wrong way from day 1. I can't explain what it is that bothered me exactly, but it's basically because she is one of these people who wears illnesses and mental disorders like a fashion accessory, constantly bringing them up. If one person says they have an illness, she has it 10X worse. Before I even knew her name, she had made it public that:
- She is "constantly on morphine"
- She is deaf (she brought this up when the fire alarm went off, saying that she was going to request a pager to alert her of fire. Didn't make sense to me, since she could clearly hear well enough to hear the alarm, but I kept my mouth shut.) When somebody else in the class mentioned that they were deaf, she came out with, "I don't have any eardrums". WTF? "I'm deaf" would have been fine, but maybe she couldn't bear the thought of somebody being deafer than her and had to make it sound dramatic.
- She can't read black text on white paper (well, she could. Until somebody mentioned that there's a disorder where you can't, so can have things printed on coloured paper.)
- She has been in an asylum (this is when I started to get wary of her claims, since anyone who has actually been through the system would know that "asylums" don't exist anymore.)
- She has bipolar
I'm not doubting any of these claims, exactly ... I just hate the way she uses them as the "thing" that's about her. She makes herself out to be what's known in the business as a "supercrip" - "In spite of my disabilities, blah blah blah". Cue the sympathy and praise; she seems to bask in the attention.
Anyway, I'm starting to stray from the point, so I'll get back on topic.
Shortly after I started college and was voicing some of my struggles to my OT, she asked if I had ever been tested for ASD. A few months later, the consultant psych said he thought I had Asperger syndrome and was going to refer me for an assessment. I'm still waiting for the assessment but in the meantime have been going to a support group and reading up on autism.
I normally spend lunchtime at college sat in an empty corridor reading. One day a few weeks ago, my tutor walked past (Leah), said hi, and asked me what I was reading. She knows about the whole Asperger thing because she came to a study support meeting, but I was still kind of embarrassed to tell her, so I just held up the book so she could see the title (Asperger Syndrome for Dummies).
Fast-forward a few weeks and I'm sitting with Anna. (Despite everything I've written, she's actually one of my "friends" at college and I don't hate her).
"Leah said you were reading a book about Asperger syndrome."
My first thought is, "I told her I didn't want the rest of the class to know. Why has she told Anna?" My second thought is, "She didn't exactly tell Anna. She just said I was reading a book about AS, which is true." I didn't want to let too much on, so I just replied,
"Yes."
"Is that what you ...?"
At this point I don't really have much choice but to say, "Yes."
"Yeah, me too. I'm borderline autistic but I'm going to get assessed for Asperger's."
I don't know what to say. I'm wondering if by "I'm borderline autistic" she means "I've self-diagnosed myself with borderline autism (whatever that is, since I'm pretty sure it's not a real diagnosis)".
Another girl in our class overhears the conversation and turns to Anna. "Oh, do you have Asperger's?"
"Yeah." Over the next few minutes they discuss Asperger's, and several more people join in. Suddenly, Anna is "the girl with Asperger's" and is clearly enjoying the attention. I keep my lips sealed and slink away, feeling dejected and humiliated.
Anna has completely spoiled Asperger syndrome for me. She's trivialised it, and now everybody will think that everybody with AS is like her. I'm not a doctor; I don't know if she has AS or not. But I hate the way she's added it to her growing list of ailments and feel like she's snatched it away from me. She never showed any autistic traits before (and still doesn't), and it's hardly coincidence that she's suddenly developed ASD after hearing about me having it.
I know it's petty but I'm still in a bit of a huff about it. It's like if you had a really great idea for an art project, and told your friend, then she stole the idea and got the credit. Does that make any sense?
