Hey,
As you're underweight, there is categorically no way that you are fat, but of course this doesn't change the way that you are feeling. Is there somebody you can talk to about these feelings? Not that talking about them will make them go away, but bottled up feelings always feel so much worse. And by talk to somebody, I mean out loud. Unfortunately, there is only so much that members of an internet forum can do to help you.
Do you see a professional at all, such as a counsellor? It might be useful to do so, as a means to getting some proper advice on how to deal with your emotions.
It's great that you know that acting on these feelings is a bad idea, which shows, I think, that part of you would like to get better. This is a really positive thing, which I think you should cling on to.
All the best, I hope that the rest of your day gets a little better.
x
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