Please- don't emphasize how much I ate today. I already know how fat I am.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I love you and I always will. I kinda wish you could feel the same but I guess there's no such thing as having it alll. I'll carry on loving you because to me it's worth it, loving you makes me happy. Shine on, beautiful.
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
Mom: You don't have to tell me that I should put on makeup. Just say it. Tell me i'm ugly.
It seems as if every ounce of happiness I find, someone always has to crush it apart.
It seems like every time your life is going great, there's always someone whose gotta **** it up again.
Somewhere far beyond this world
I feel nothing anymore.
Yes it upset me that you brought that stuff up. Maybe his mother was right maybe I did do that when I was younger. If so it explains what he did. I can't tell you this because I have to protect you. It is easier to pretend it didn't happen
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
I'm really starting to think I should probably ask to go back on my meds. Now that I'm not on them I can see they were probably doing me some good that I really need...
Also, I think there's something wrong with my stupid brain because I cannot for the life of me understand the concept of 'loneliness'.
Last edited by Zedebee : 21-09-2011 at 08:59 PM.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
I hate you for what you've done to me. Leaving the city was my choice, yes, but at the same time I didn't really have any other option. I don't have any future because of you and I know it's not your fault but I'm still so angry. I had so much potential. Now I'm worthless and there's no point trying.
Daddy, you don't know how much you hurt me. I needed you to say that you really want to come see me no matter if there isn't a party. I wanted you to tell me that I matter more than anything else.
I used to be your girl. You don't know how it feels to have that taken away.
Noone can see your tears when you walk in the rain
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The most boring place on earth?
I am currently:
I want to be angry but I can't and I'm not. I'm not dying, they were wrong it's just a virus. I'm happy... Kind of. You're happy so I don't have to worry that you're not and I'm independent and doing great for once in my life. I'm making my own choices, and getting good grades and going somewhere with my life for once :) don't worry about me, I miss you so much but I'm finally okay. Be happy with Cheyanne, and forget about me. I won't blame you.
When you're ready I'm here to be your friend but I'm not good for you.
I'm finally happy and I'm finally okay so you should be too. :)
Talk to you when things are okay, until then I hope you do well :)
The beer spills in a disgusting puddle and the glass becomes nothing but fragments of a rainbow.
You are the most self centred, self obsessed, ignorant and childish person I have ever met. How DARE you behave like this?
And do you know what? Part of me hates you even more because YET AGAIN I am here, picking up the fucking pieces whilst you feel NOTHING. Just like when we were kids, 'don't tell C' it might upset her, etc etc. Now this is DIRECTLY your fault, you selfish fucking bitch. And now I am yet again trying to put M back together. Hoping that she does not totally collapse, desperate not to be put in the position where she totally unfolds again and this time, not only are you not exposed to it but you are the direct cause of it!
FUCK YOU.
Today was always going to be hard for me. And you made it even harder by your actions. I don't think I will ever forgive you now. I was getting there but after the last couple of days.....no.
