i dont know why im posting i probably just want to find somene wh semi understands to talk too.
Ive previously slit a wrist, although it was some time ago, and i guess not a very serious attempt.
over the past 4 days ive been to hospital 3 seperate times, taken two overdoses, one whilst in hospital, and have cut both of my wrists badly leaving my arms looking like absolute sh*t. Within the past two weeks ive lost my job, my girlfriend, lost the trust and espect of my family... i just dont know how to pick myself up from this, and im worried this time i wont be able too. sorry, rant over.
hey that sounds like you're going through a really tough time. I hope you are safe right now. Are you still in hospital or at home? Is there anyone there with you? Do you think you could talk to someone? I'm sure your family still love you just as much, they're just worried about you and it might come across as anger or displeased but that's just cos they don;t kow what to do or say. I hope you'll be ok. Oh and I'm glad you posted, it shows you're able to reach out and ask for help.
home alone and family on holiday for next 2 days. the thought of having to explain this to them scares me more than anything so i dont really want to be around when they return... i guess i need to stop being so weak and just face it, but its hard at the moment
*hugs* I don't really have much to say at the moment, being in a similar position, but I didn't want to read and leave. So I just wanted to say I'm here if you ever need to talk/pm me or whatever. I hope you're okay, and keep strong <3
Of course it's hard. I shudder at the thought of telling my parents when things are bad, I mean I literally feel weak at the thought so I can see where you're coming from. I'm sure they will want to support you though. Do you have a friend or something who could come over for 2 days? Do you think you'll be ok?
Sounds stupid but i dont want my friends to know. I dont really want to tell people until ive worked out in my own head what my explination is... and right now i just dont have one i can put into words in the right way
*hugs* hey hun, I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I really hope you manage to speak to your family. You're strong and I believe you can get through this.
I know we've not spoken before but I've seen you around and you seem strong to me, even if you can't see it yourself.
I'm always here if you need to PM anyone.
Take Care
Ami x
im sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. sometimes there is a clear explanation for things, and sometimes there isn't, but either way you still deserve to feel better and deserve help. i always get really anxious about telling my parents that things aren't going so well, but i try and think of how much worse it'd be if they found out by accident...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
It's not stupid at all. It's your business and it's completely up to you who you tell or don't tell. Of course it could help to tell somone but if it's going to upset you more than wait and see, as you said yourself, until you've figured things out. How are you doing now?
messed up again, just got home from another trip to A&E having overdosed yesterday... seems unless i have something mentally wrong with me, which several assessments have ruled i dont, all they do is patch me up and throw me out the door again. heads just a mess today
I am angry for you that you have been in hospital so regularly yet they are doing nothing. Its all very well patching you up but YOU NEED HELP.
Can you not go back to A and E and demand to see the MH Team? I really think it would be worth it, I think someone needs to know and needs to do something.
I am angry too, they should give you some support having been to A&E so much recently. I can kinda understand not wanting friends to know i hate telling my mates how bad things are as they will worry and i get anxious what they might say or who they might contact. I have no really words of wisedom at the moment, though i am sorry you felt the need to od.
The only course of action they will offer at the moment is comunity mental health team visiting at home for a couple of weeks, some form of cognative behavioural therapy, which would be about an hour a week. The standard antidepressants and a chat approach. I dont know what else i expected from them or what else could be offered so dont even know why im surprised by this. Ive tried explaining thats all well and good, but things have reached a point where i scare myself if im left alone. The whole system seems to be an absolute joke... When you can leave a trained professional, telling them you intend to go home and take your own life and they are more than happy to let you go and do it. Guess its not their problem at the end of the day.
what is stopping you from accepting their offered help? even if it isn't ideal, it is something, and it sounds like a decent amount of support that has a good approach
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time & I can really relate to many things going wrong at once, feeling so bad and being pissed at mental health services. The shitty thing is the NHS (are you in UK?) can be like that and sometimes you just have to try and work with what they are offering. CBT especially can be very good although I know that probably doesn't make you feel better right now.
Can you try and do simple things to take care of yourself? Eat nice food/have a bath/go shopping or whatever you might usually do to make yourself feel better? Little things like that can give a rest break at least.
Yeah in the uk so the joys of our wondefull NHS. I guess ive just been hoping for some kind of quick fix to it all, and there isnt one. Its just gonna take time to work through it all, and follow some of the processes they can put in place. i just find it so hard to take some of it seriously, some of the outright retarded questions and comments made etc. I sound whingey and selfish speaking about people trying to help in that kind of way, but some of it just frustrates me so much. A number of the people ive had speaking to me this week ive actually ended up laughing at... about the only jokes ive had recently. One in particular saying they'd had a read through my notes (points to papers in her hands), but could i just explain what had been going on. Not feeling very conversational i basically just said well whaevers in the notes... that should pretty much cover it... at which point she was forced to admit she hadnt read any of my notes, and was in fact holding a blank form in her hand!!!! FFS!!!!!!! All respect for them, and all of their credability lost instantly...
how is your night going? remember to get plenty of sleep, thats one thing that can really effect your mood and ability to cope with things.
that is sooooo frustrating of her to do that. though, for the next time, sometimes they want you to explain again because the notes were brief (think how hard it is to take notes in class, but now having to talk to the teacher at the same time, and ask questions, and catch all the information and process it) or because they want it in your words, etc....
you're right that there isn't a quick fix. i would love for there to be one. but there isn't. its like... when you're travelling. you're going somewhere really cool, and know that it'll be great when you get there, but you can't snap your fingers and appear there. you've got to pack and go on the train/bus/plane and sit at the airports and take the taxi etc to get to your destination.. but its worth it, right?
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
