I wonder if you check on me the way I check on you.
I wonder if you think of me, as often as I think of you.
I wonder how much of the good you remember, and how much of the bad you resent me for.
I wonder if you understand.
I wonder if you could understand.
I wonder if you kept anything.
I wonder if you'd be in a better place if I had stayed.
I wonder if I'd still be here if I'd stayed.
I wonder if those were for me.
I wonder if you still want to see me, and I wonder what you think that would do.
I wonder so many things, but most of all I wonder if it would do me any good to know.
Haha really?? really?? What a beautiful speech there. Maybe you should question something. Do you really love her? Because if you did, I don't think you would have hooked up with me. I feel sorry for her though. She has absolutely no idea. You wanted to make sure I knew it didn't mean we were in love. Of course I laughed. I know what love is, I don't confuse it with sex. I know when I really love someone and when I don't.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
i really wish id never told you about the abuse, because it feels like ive lost you again.
why did i have to open my mouth, why didnt i keep it to myself?
im sorry i told you, im so sorry.
i promise i wont mention it again, please dont leave me please.
I NEED YOU.
Have been okay and am down again now. I am so tired of all this up and down, of all this euphoria and depression, it just drains my energy... so tired...
An indefinable yearning, possibly for something he once knew and then lost or for something he never knew and has always been searching for.
You took him away from me... this is YOUR fault...
I know you were trying to portect me, but all you did was cause pain and hurt...
You tore us apart, tore my heart apart...
Why did I even listen to you?! f course he loved me...
I hate you for this! I shouldnt, but how could I even forgive you?!
I hate you! I'll never forgive you! I loved him!!!
You took the one most important person in my life away from me...
Where would we be now if you hadn't of dont this..
At least now i know that ill never..
never...
measure up to her.
Yeah, he's back.
But now I know,
Because of you,
That I'll never be good enough...
I know I'm a selfish self absorbed twat but does anybody care how hard it all is for ME? Trying to make you both happy, stuck in the middle, always upsetting someone, never good enough, just fighting to do what's right by everyone but knowing I'll NEVER succeed, all the while just wanting to destroy myself completely...
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Fucking ceeb.
And fuck you. I hate you. DON'T UNDERMINE ME. Sometimes I actually know what I'm talking about. I hate this place. I don't belong here. I want to go home.
Oh, hilarious. I don't have a home. But I want to at least go back to the city where I nearly feel at home.
And you. Stop nagging me. Leave me the fuck alone. I don't care what you think, but you still have the complete power to control me.
Fuck.
You.
All.
K, I miss you :[ Wish I still had your number so that I could text you....but maybe I'm supposed to go through college without you.
M, I miss you too..Even more...:[ I love how I always surprised you. :] I love how I never did it on purpose. :] I love how you loved it. :] If I ever marry someone, they're going to have to have an attraction like we had, but without a girlfriend already. Hah.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
T-You told me you had luekemia the other day...And I felt a sick wretch in the bottom of my stomach. I feel horrible about this but...I don't know whether or not to believe you or not...This sounds horrible, but you've lied about so many other things. You told me you were Bipolor. You said you were depressed. You said you were gay. You told me your best friend had killed herself and then made it out to seem as if you were the one who had been set up...I thought we were similar...
You wouldn't lie about this, though, would you? You know how it hurts me whenever cancer is mentioned...You wouldn't lie to me about this, would you?
Deep down, I want it to be true...Because I want to believe you...I really do...If it's true, there's nothing we can do about it. We can hope for the best. I can be there for you again.
But if it's not true, then I'm kind of afraid I'm never going to want to be around you anymore...And you weren't so bad before the lying...
You're making me stressed out and triggered, T...I'm not even safe around you anymore...
"Hate can't drive out hate. Only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King Jr.-
