Hi again guys,Thanks for the hugs.Hi to all the new people. I am terribly suicidal again,have been past few days....need to hide in here.I need you guys so much right now =/ I know I'm irrational atm,so please forgive me.
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
20.12 .07 - Cathryn
*hugs all* wish I could make it better for all those that are struggling.
I'm going to try and keep dinner + meds down tonight. I'm so fvcking scared of the meds, because I always imagine meds (even pain killers) as millions of tiny germs (lack of a better word) floating around in my body that have a plan and their own will.
If I take it for a few weeks so it has an effect on me, will it get easier to take it?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
*Hugs everyone* Thanks Misskitty(sorry don't know your real name) and Mark. I am a little better today,ended up ringing the smaritains at about 1am and cleared the air in my head a bit.I think I set myself of on a downward path when I got drunk last week (first time in about 3years) and I guess I should have known better.Alcohol is in eccess a form of self-harm and I react badly to being out of control but crave it.So so today....OCD ruling my head but thats better than suicidal...
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
20.12 .07 - Cathryn
I'm so depressed today. My 21st went as well as could be expected on Tuesday. I have a chest/throat thing, so am not feeling great physically. Mentally, I'm just so down and just don't have the strength to fight any more. I got a letter today saying that they've put me in the Silver band for council housing. I'm so scared of moving - I won't be safe on my own.
*cuddles Charlie* Of course you can come back! Your too Claire! *hugs*
*welcomes everyone new* I'm Crimson!
*huggles all around*
Sorry for not doing individuals but I can't think much past how bloody itchy I am right now. I did finally figure out why I was having an eczema outbreak though. I thought it was stress but it got worse with less stress so I looked at the only new thing I'd been using (my lotion) to see if it had anything to cause an allergic outbreak... One would not think cocoa butter with vitamin e would be bad right? Wrong! I am allergic to titanium. My new lotion has titanium dioxide in it. Who new they even put that in some lotions?! But I originally used more to help with the eczema so now I am splotchy and itchy all over rather than the smaller area I was itchy originally! And I am wearing a sweater in my toasty office because it looks awful and with Shingles going around lately I don't want to be sent home because they don't understand what my rash is. I feel like an itchy leper.
[/mini-rant-whinge moment]
K now that I got that out I can think a little more (less crowded in my head, ya know?) MJ, What housing are you in now and what is Silver band housing? (Sorry I know nothing of housing in Wales...)
You aren't a freak shattered, I get sensations and sometimes even see the damage I want to cause when it's bad...
Laura, it should get easier to take once you get accustomed to taking something, especially if it helps.
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
goes around and hugs everyone says hello - then goes and sits in the corner.
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*huggles Mark*
Could you maybe drink some mint tea to help your tummy?
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
Worthless & used by people,sick of it! Name: J.A.R
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Iowa, USA
I am currently:
thanks for the responses everyone, I glad to know I not a freak about in that matter...but at the same time wish you all didn't have to experience it too.
“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
