Just because I'm smiling it doesn't mean I'm Happy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm not actually sure about that.
I am currently:
Thankyou Fadeawaycassie... It feels good to know someone cares. Right now i feel completely deserted, and i need to talk with someone. The one person i want to talk with wont answer... I feel so alone with my pain, like i want to die.
She's going to leave me, abandon me again. I don't know why she told me or how I'm going to deal with it. My counsellor. It's dragging me right down. Why am I so weak? Why am I in so much pain?
I'm so sorry that all of you feel so awful and suicidal. None of you deserve this.
I have a plan, for tomorrow, and I can't stop myself. I'm really sorry but I think I'm going to do this, if I can get the things I need. If I can I'm going to do it immediately.
Just wanna curl up somewhere and hopefully disappear into thin air from there. Dont wanna deal with any of this anymore, its too much :( Wish I could just learn to deal with all of it but I cant. I just need somebody:( Dont know how to control any of the thoughts or feelings.
Last edited by Frail Existence : 23-04-2011 at 09:06 PM.
Reason: grammatical error
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Cassie and Libz, please listen to Talaiporia, suicide is not the answer you are looking for. Please don't do it. There is another way. We can get through this.
Libz, I can soooooo relate to your statement "I just need somebody". I get that.
Thanks you guys a lot!!!!! I dont plan on committing suicide. Just suicidal. Dont know really understand why. I know suicide is not the answer by all means, but I cant help the thoughts and feelings.
Really worried about Cassie because I pmed her lasy nigh and no reply at all.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
ICPfandom: It's good that you're not feeling as suicidal. And remember you're not weak - it takes a lot of strength to keep going when all you want to do is leave the world. Keep holding on! xx
I hope that you're all still hanging on here. I'm really sorry for my last post. I couldn't think clearly and I ended up taking an overdose yesterday, but it doesn't seem to have done me any damage :/ I can think a bit more clearly today which is kind of ironic, and I've decided that I'm really going to make an effort to try and not make any more plans, and try to think about this as little as possible. I'm going to try and live for at least a little while longer, and I hope that all of you or at least some of you will be able to do that too...
Libz - I'm really sorry for worrying you :[ I've replied to your message now and I'm really sorry that it's so late! I understand what you mean by not being able to help the thoughts and feelings, sometimes even if you try they just won't go away :[ I hope they do eventually, though. Take care. xxx
Mum24 - I'm so sorry that you're counsellor is leaving :[ You're not weak, and it's not your fault you're in so much pain! Are you going to see another counsellor? xxx
ICPfandom - I'm so glad that you're still alive, and that you're a little less suicidal. You're not weak and the fact that you're still holding on proves that you're a strong person xxx
Mayhem - I'm sorry that this is so late, but you can talk with us anytime, please don't do anything. I really hope that you're still holding on. Of course we all care, and I'm really sorry that you feel alone. You can talk to me anytime too xxx
I really hope that everybody is still holding on and having at least an okay Easter, I'm not religious but today is a day of life in a way. Keep holding on xxx
thanks hideawaycassie. hmm im sorry you were in so much pain, that you felt the need to overdose. and sorry your mum acted the way she did. squishes. take care of yourself.
huggles everybody sorry for the lack of other reply's, im doing great again. sorry
I don't know what to do anymore... All I know is that I just want out...
I'm sorry... I don't even know why I'm posting, nothing works... I don't deserve help... I'm useless, utterly useless...
"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." - Albus Dumbledore
shadowedsoul - thank you for the reply, how are you now I hope that you're okay and glad to hear you're feeling better xx
~Lost Soul~ - I'm really sorry you feel this way, but I just want to say that you do deserve help and that you're in no way useless. What's happening at the moment? You can talk to me anytime and I definitely do not think you're useless, you deserve help just as much as anybody else here. xx
Cassie, I'm glad you're safe. Please don't OD again. I've been there. I know how hard it is and the pain. :(. Thanks for replying to me. I don't want a new counsellor because I don't want to get attached to someone new to have to say goodbye to them too. I graduate soon and I have to say goodbye to whatever counsellor I have. She just happens to be abandoning me sooner and I'm not coping very well. I feel pathetic.
Lost soul. Please hang on... You are worth it. I'm so sorry you are feeling so low and so awful. I know how it feels and it's shit. It's not your fault. Don't give up. Turn to a friend, or if things are really bad, a helpline, or the hospital for help. I've had to do That. It seems like awful at the time but it's so worth it. And they are really nice and helpful.
Hang in there Rach Im sorry things are so tough.Im really struggling too battling urges to od my exams start in two weeks I dont know if I can get through this.Im bad with names but please try to keep fighting everyone sorry to be uselessx
Jess, I know the pressure of exams sucks so bad. Mine just finished and I have a really heavy semester coming up. We can do this Jess. Please don't OD or give up. Pm me any time. Hugs hon. I know it feels so hard. Exams will pass and you will do well. Hugs
cassie. im so glad to hear from you was worried about you, hmm i hope you are feeling better sweetie.
erm me im feeling suicidal, but i need to try and keep it togther and just keep going =/. huggles everybody.
I have no friends. There's nothing I like to do. Going to school makes me anxious. Talking to people makes me anxious. I have too many issues to count. No one misses me when I'm gone, no one will miss me when I'm dead.
