Hey guys, things have been happening to me lately and most of the
are pretty bad things. Well anyway I'm pregnant and nowhere old enough to take care of this kid. It was not my intention to get pregnant and I was in no way willing. My options are abortion or adoption and I'm leaning strongly towards adoption.
Have you ever given a baby up for adoption? What was it like? Was it open adoption? What questions did you ask the parents? How did you and the parents interact?
I'd love some help and if you want to message me that's fine too. Thanks
I was almost an abortion and adoption (lucky my mom's mom never found out till it was too late). All I can say is that, from watching a close friend having to deal with it, it can be chal lenging. You should just talk to the parents and picture yourself being their child. Would you be happy? Would you be healthy? Are they the dream parents you wish you could be if you had the means?
Its not much help... but I hope it helps none the less.
i admire you so much for doing this. I had the same decision to make a couple of years ago and i took the abortion route. I regret it know but at the time it was the only way for me.
As for what to ask the parents, why dont you write down a list of the most important things about a parent and then think about how you could check these things in questions?
RaenaStorm, I actually think that's a really good idea to see if I can picture them as my parents. It is a hard thing to go through.
Gamma Zebra, I've been through an abortion before and I'm not sure I could ever do it again. I've been trying to think of questions and things for them. Thank you
I haven't ever been in this situation but I has crossed my mind as to whether I would give the baby up for adoption if I were to become pregnant now.
I really admire you for being sensible about this and wanting to know what it's like. I'd suggest you get in contact with an adoption agency and they can help you more than we probably can? (unless someone has given up a baby for adoption before.) They'll guide you and give you all the information you need. Even if in the end you do choose an abortion is the best route, you would've at least gave yourself the option.
I hope whatever you decide, you're content with the decision. I really wish you the best of luck.
I have just had a baby and have post natal depression so this feels very emotive to me.
I think you are very brave, what you are contemplating is very difficult and selfless. I think you need to speak to some professionals about the adoption process. When do they take the baby? Will you know whereabouts the child is living? Do you have any say in who the child goes to? What support will you receive after the birth?
Good luck xxx
The humans they see a mind so messy, but it's love and emotion divine.
hi i dont really have advice as i in somewhat of the same situation, i am pregnant and my boyfriend walked out, i am thinking about adoption but also want to keep it, i understand how hard it is like i saud i dont have advice just wanted to let you know you r not alone and message me if u neeed someone to talk to please take care
I'm hoping to do an open adoption which will give me rights to see the baby. My social worker will hopefully take me to an adoption agency today
Hey, I'm not sure where you're from, but I do want to point out that even in an open adoption, the adoptive parents generally get the final say as to if you are allowed to see the baby etc. It really just means that you know who the adopters are, they know who you are, etc.
Now that I've said that and possibly worried you..
I was adopted in an open adoption, at birth. I always knew about my birth family and we sometimes exchanged letters and I got some presents.
I met my birth mother and younger half brother (my older sister was working, my older brother was too anxious) when I was about 12. While my birthmother and I have sort of fallen out of touch, my little brother and I are still close, and I now talk to my older sister regularly.
It would be good if you are clear with what you've done during pregnancy (if you have done anything) and any health and mental health issues you may have and that may run in your family. Not everyone is. We didn't find out until last year that my birth mother had used cocaine during pregnancy or that mental illness runs in our family, and it would have been really helpful to know about before.. because now my problems, mental and physical, make more sense.
Other than that, giving a child up for adoption has got to be one of the greatest things you can do. You are giving some family the chance at having a child.
I hope it goes well. If you want to ask me anything (as someone who was adopted via open adoption), please feel free. I still have the paperwork and everything, though the paperwork has probably changed and varies between countries etc.
Like aeternal I was adopted at birth too. Mind was a private adoption and my little sister who is 3 yrs younger than me has an open adoption. I am not sure if it is like this for all agencies or not but my birthmother could request what she wanted the family to be like. Example would be catholic, middle income, both white parents with other children. That is just an example and she got profiles and could choose which family she thought was best. She said she knew right away when she saw my parents profile. They reminded her of her aunt and uncle who raised her. She wanted me to have parents like her aunt and uncle. Pm me if you have any other questions :) i'll help in any way i can!!
"Best Friend, Angel of the get-through, all living is storm chasing." -A.G.
Like aeternal I was adopted at birth too. Mind was a private adoption and my little sister who is 3 yrs younger than me has an open adoption. I am not sure if it is like this for all agencies or not but my birthmother could request what she wanted the family to be like. Example would be catholic, middle income, both white parents with other children. That is just an example and she got profiles and could choose which family she thought was best. She said she knew right away when she saw my parents profile. They reminded her of her aunt and uncle who raised her. She wanted me to have parents like her aunt and uncle. Pm me if you have any other questions :) i'll help in any way i can!!
Oh, yes! My birthmother picked my family as well, so you should get a part in that if you want it.
I was adopted in Kansas if that matters. I bet certain states have certain regs etc.
hi hun
well adoption will be ver hard because well when you have a baby growing inside you for 9months ,you may (ormay not) become attached to the baby and it can be very hard to give the baby away afte birth and abortion well i dont agree in it enless the baby hasnt grown its heart yet or main organ their both hard descions but i will support u in what ever choice you make because beeing so young it can e more diffuclt i have a friend who is only just a teenager by 2years and shes a few months pregnant
young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly
she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............
Hey, I'm not sure where you're from, but I do want to point out that even in an open adoption, the adoptive parents generally get the final say as to if you are allowed to see the baby etc. It really just means that you know who the adopters are, they know who you are, etc.
Now that I've said that and possibly worried you..
I was adopted in an open adoption, at birth. I always knew about my birth family and we sometimes exchanged letters and I got some presents.
I met my birth mother and younger half brother (my older sister was working, my older brother was too anxious) when I was about 12. While my birthmother and I have sort of fallen out of touch, my little brother and I are still close, and I now talk to my older sister regularly.
It would be good if you are clear with what you've done during pregnancy (if you have done anything) and any health and mental health issues you may have and that may run in your family. Not everyone is. We didn't find out until last year that my birth mother had used cocaine during pregnancy or that mental illness runs in our family, and it would have been really helpful to know about before.. because now my problems, mental and physical, make more sense.
Other than that, giving a child up for adoption has got to be one of the greatest things you can do. You are giving some family the chance at having a child.
I hope it goes well. If you want to ask me anything (as someone who was adopted via open adoption), please feel free. I still have the paperwork and everything, though the paperwork has probably changed and varies between countries etc.
I along with my social worker are going to pick the family. We were at the adoption agency yesterday looking around. I know that I'll have to talk to the parents about visiting etc. I'll definatly message you though thanks.
hi hun
well adoption will be ver hard because well when you have a baby growing inside you for 9months ,you may (ormay not) become attached to the baby and it can be very hard to give the baby away afte birth and abortion well i dont agree in it enless the baby hasnt grown its heart yet or main organ their both hard descions but i will support u in what ever choice you make because beeing so young it can e more diffuclt i have a friend who is only just a teenager by 2years and shes a few months pregnant
I know that I'll most likely grow attached and the thing is I'd want to keep it if I knew I could be a good mother. I personally think I'm too young to be a good mother to anyone. Besides they'd have to move me foster homes and I'd be away from my sister, I don't think wither of us could handle that well,
Hey. Well, I gotta say I admire you. And I hope this all works out for you :)
I was adopted in an open adoption, and although my birth father and I don't particularly like eachother, and I have a hard time ever forgiving my birthmother for how she got pregnant with me, I do admire her for doing what she did. My little sister lives with them and I'm close with her. I had a hard time dealing wiht everthing growing up, and I know it hurt sometimes when I thought they had given me up because they didn't want me, but I still love them.
The one thing I wish they would have done is stay in touch more and occasinally have been there. It's great that your doing this, really :) I wish you luck, my friend. If you ever need someone to talk to about it or have questions at all, I'm just a PM away :)
"Hate can't drive out hate. Only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King Jr.-
"Best Friend, Angel of the get-through, all living is storm chasing." -A.G.
