I got a Christmas job at an unamed music-dvds-and-games store (yay) which I'm struggling with due to mental health fail (boo), but I've been lucky I've been supported. Had an absolutely lovely customer a couple of weeks ago who stared at my arms and asked why I'd been "let out the loony bin". After a brief angry-cry in the bathrooms, I went back out to the shop floor... luckily, one of my supervisors was nice enough to go get me a hoodie to wear because I now feel horribly self-conscious.
Even better was the guy with the tattoo books who, while I was making the usual friendly chatter, asked me why I bother getting tattoos if I'm going to cut them up again anyway. I've never actually cut any of my tattoos, aha...
Anybody else ever had charming comments concerning their scars at work, or do I just have bad luck with the people who run through my till? :P
i'd only come here seeking peace i'd only come here seeking me it seems i came to leave
Sorry to hear you've had to put up with these comments. Unfortunately there will always be people who don't realise and/or appreciate the impact their comments have.
I've never had any comments but that's mainly because my jobs more behind the scenes jobs and so I tend to have very minimal contact with customers. If anybody looked at my scars then asked why I'd been let out the loony bin I'd be soooo tempted to reply by saying the loony bin needed to free up a room for them.
or tell them you hadn't been let out, you escaped shhh lol
sorry you've had these comments, i don't think many people have the guts to say anything tbh but you have clearly had a few stupid people, just ignore them, they mean nothing to you, they are random people who you probably won't see again (and if you do it will only be for a short time).
Anyway well done on the job, and i hope it goes well for you x
I have had countless tactless customers over the years say things to me.
*Nice arms...* [Yeah, really.]
*What scratched you up?*
*Did you do that to yourself?*
*Why would you do that? You're so pretty.* [MOST asinine comment EVER.]
And worse. Not just while working, but from people in general. They behave as if we *owe* them explanations because they're seeing something that they're uncomfortable with. So we *must* justify it to them. It's ignorant, it's tactless & it's just plain rude!
When I wear arm warmers I even get asked about those. I have 10 years worth of scarring...they're not gonna go away & I'd rather not be reminded of them when I'm just trying to get thru a day. Especially at work.
I'm no longer working due to severe recurrence of bipolar I symptoms. Haven't worked since January 2010. Still get comments from the general public.
I can *so* relate & feel your pain/angst.
Much love-
Jacki
❝I sometimes ask myself, did I speak my mind or shut my mouth? Was I a follower, a leader, insignificant? Mere shadow of a ghost bearing innocence?❞ [Last Things -KMFDM]
Oh yes the wonderful public are so horrible and rube it's unreal. I had one customer who asked me in front of loads of other folk what those marks on my arms were and how did it happen? Yeah cos I'm going to tell you, ya idiot! But I suppose it's better than the time a so called mate seen my scars, asked what happened and when I told him he started laughing!
I haven't really worked anywhere where I've had to deal with rude customers, but I've definitely had strangers make comments. "You really should cover those up, you know." "Hey, look at the emo kid!" Or, the best yet, some kids I went to school with back in the day would walk up to me and say "EMO DANCE!" and then proceed to shake their hips while pretending to draw a knife across their wrist. Then they would laugh and walk away.
Seriously, people need to learn how to keep their mouths shut.
Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
I've had questions, but I've managed to acoid ant work is baswering so far. Work is one of the only places where I can totally pretend to be someone I'm not. But this makes it so hard for me when I need some support because I'm stuck, I can't even take ten minutes to calm down =/
"this is the room where you don't have to be brave"
Thankfully i don't get asked often about my scars anymore. When I am asked by a random person or someone at work i just usually tell them its a long story.. They know what they are from they are just looking for a reaction. It used to bother me but now it really doesnt.I just move on with my day and just try to think of the issues they may have they are covering up.. nobodys perfect and people like to make themselves feel better by making other feel like crap.
You know what, since I've got a job in Brighton, not a single person/customer has commented on my scars, or even looked more than briefly. Honest to God, its like people down here just don't care.
I had a few horrible comments working in Cambridge and Farnborough, including one man telling me to drop out of my foundation course (engineering) because he thought I was using my practical lessons to destroy myself (wtf?), and another woman who hung around my till for over half an hour telling me how I was worth more than this, and just dousing me with sympathy and bullshit. I'm really not sure which is worse, the insults or the sympathy. Maybe I seem ungrateful, but I don't really want a ton of pity when I'm trying to do my job...
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
I've had a few people staring but they've never commented. Thankfully, they're not too prominent anyway and I haven't taken off my fleece in the workplace for about a year and a half... this leads to comments more along the lines of "aren't you boiling?" in our heatwave of a summer. However, I'd prefer to take those comments than other ones. Fans and water can alleviate minor discomforts.
Could you were a long sleeve black top underneath your uniform if you have one? If you were allowed to wear a hoodie that one time, what's to stop you wearing one every time? Your supervisor clearly has noticed something's up, so try talking to them professionally or something?
I guess that some people are just idiots. Don't think about them. Honestly, they're not worth your time.
I mostly wear a fleece, or long sleeves whenever I've had a job.
The majority of my jobs have been outside so its acceptable.
When I worked in a cafe it was too hot to wear long sleeves and I did have one of the regulars go "your not one of those self harmers are you" I just laughed it off and said "no just clumsy". Another time a collegue grabbed my arm and asked and my boss (who knew) covered for me and made up an excuse whilst I was still stood there in shock.
I've had other people ask, usually people I know, and I just say that I am clumsy, and used to work in a kitchen and was always getting burned. Or I fell out of a tree as a kid. No-one really pushes the issue. But my scars are in stereotypical straight lines or anything, and they aren't too bad so its easy to pass them off as accidental.
I was on break from work once just walking around the coffee shop making sure everyone happy and I sat down next to a friend of mine who didn't know that I had started up again, she believed I stopped over a year ago. We started talking, half way through she grabbed my arm and turned it, there were new scars there. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I broke. I cried right there at work. She just held me, telling me it would be okay, and telling everyone that came over that I just got some bad news from home. That was the only time someone has seen them at work to date. Probably would have been able to lie to anyone else about them, but not her.
I'm so sorry you experienced that! People are so dense about these things sometimes.I've been lucky and even though I have to wear short sleeves at work i've mostly just had "oh what happened?" or "you've got a lot of scratches there." my favourites though where an ent surgeon "did a cat get you?" and an orthopaedic surgeon "did you walk through a hedge?" he got a curt "no" and probably figured it out when I had to turn around so he saw my other arm which was a lot worse. I'm constantly scared of what people might say though.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
My supervisor was really nice about things- the uniform included hoodies, so he gave me one of the uniform hoodies to wear and keep. It made things a lot better, and gave me a bit more confidence about things.
i'd only come here seeking peace i'd only come here seeking me it seems i came to leave
I've never had a single comment at any of my jobs. I had a few comments when I was still at school, but that was usually at PE when we had to wear shorts and my lower legs were visible.
My left arm is rather scarred but they don't really look like obvious SH and it doesn't tend to draw peoples' attention. I don't honestly know what I would say if someone at work did ask me - I think it would depend which colleague it was and how well I know them - but I would probably tell them the truth. SH is in my past, I am not ashamed of it and I'm not ashamed of my scars.
"I know that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much!"
It's odd because i volunteered in a pet shop a few years back and i spent about half the time in the actual shop but no one ever asked me. Not the people who worked there or the customers or anyone.
I have had people stop in the middle of the street to stare at me though, lol. Some people find it funny to make insults or stupid comments. I just give them my "touch-me-and-you're-dead" look.
Most people pretend like nothing. I have been doing this for 15 years now so if someone has the guts to ask i susually give an honest answer. Most people don't have the guts to ask though.
