You're a selfish pig and I really dont know why I wasted my time on you, You're the first person I ever trusted and you threw that back at me, I'm better off on my own at least then I dont have to worry about embarrising you or showing you up. I dont understand why you did this, was it just a big game or power trip for you? Was I your project and when you realised you couldnt fix me you gave up? My problems are not about you, they never were, so get over yourself and leave me alone, i've had enough of your childish mind games, i've had enough of you. I hope your happy and one day manage to find your perfect woman because I sure as hell aint her.
I dont talk I write,
I used to throw those writing away, delete them or burn them but now they're here http://wfats.blogspot.com
1. I wish you'd stop messing me about like this. I'm totally free for babysitting, you know I love to help you out. But I changed my plans so that I can look after your child tonight, and you've just told me you don't need me. Again. I cancelled my plans for this. Thanks.
2. Stop going on about how great uni is, you insensitive cow. Can you seriously not see what you're talking about/ what it's doing to me? I'm sure you're having a great time. I'm not.
3. I feel so ill.
You are a wonderful creation.
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
"you're not going to die if I go out for a bit are you?"
I said no, because I know what you meant.
but...truth? I plan on dying..thanks. so yes.
~ you made me promise to wake up in the morning when you called me last night.
honestly, I've never wanted to be more dead in my entire life.
I'm going to do it again...and I really don't care.
because I want to die, sit back and watch you find someone better for you then me.
"marry me then."
I almost said no, because of the way you asked it, the fact that I was fucked off my ass, and the fact that every time I say yes to that god damn question something goes wong and it makes me suicidal.
I wanted you asking that to be the happiest god damn moment of my life.
instead. I was too fucked to even register what you asked, and had to ask you for comfermation.
I wanted you asking that to somehow "save me" from this. it didn't I still feel like dying and now I have absolutely no hope of anything.
I want to be with you, and I want to marry you.
and I feel like the worst person in the world.
because I woke up this morning wanting to kill myself more then I did last night.
I'm sorry.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
I'm slipping again. That didn't last long did it?
You said you thought a month at A helped more than a year at N, maybe. But that confidence I gained is quickly going.
You treat me like shit then expect me to suck up to you?! Well fuck you, you're just attention seeking. If you're not careful I'll tell him what you're like.
I can't do this. I acted fine when I saw you, you said I was in the best frame of mind you had seen for a while. If only you knew.
See I cannot feel this, not matter how you try and in the real world, there's no goodbyes.
Cant you see i'm sinking cant you see the tear stains on my cheeks
Please help me
Oh and by the way i just smashed up the garage then sat there in tears but you didnt seem to notice
Please notice me
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
I want to OD again.
going shoping for food tomorow
and I'm only going so I can buy more...
I want to die
I really do.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
I pretend I'm okay..
When really I'm dead inside.
I still want to die.
Last time I OD'd I promised I'd never do it again.
I lied.
But I promise I'll never fail again.
Next time I WILL succeed.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of a true, wise friend called Piggy.
If we dont get home soon, we'll be barmy..
In order to get through tomorrow night, I'm going to need to be really, really strong. I'll probably ignore you, or just be civil, but I can't talk to you properly. I can't. I'll breakdown. Or worse, I'll actually enjoy it. I'll forget that you broke my heart. That I'm not supposed to be in love with you...
That no matter what happens, you'll never, ever feel the same. I forget that when I'm with you. Your eyes... they hypnotise me. Please don't trample over my heart as you usually do? I'm not as strong as I once was. :'(
