|
Hello
Hi. I guess this is where I'm supposed to write a brief introduction about myself, but the truth is that I don’t even know myself anymore. I had a RYL account years ago, but I must have deleted it. I’m making a new one, because I need a strong support group of friends. I don’t really have that anymore. I’d also like to help other people struggling with the same issues.
My name is Paige. I'm 19 years old and am studying Psychology. I first started cutting myself 7 years ago. I was clean for 2 years until I came to university. Things have gone downhill since then, I suppose. This scares me. My parents first discovered my secret 5 years ago. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation and then sent to a Psychologist twice a week. The therapy didn’t last very long, because my parents thought that it was a waste of money. They figured that after a month of treatment that I had been “cured.” I haven’t been cured; I’ve just gotten a lot better at hiding it. I’ve been hiding my true thoughts and emotions for so long, in fact, that I find myself no longer capable of expressing myself or talking about my problems. This has been an evident issue in every relationship or friendship that I’ve ever had.
I just want to live a normal life. I can’t hold a decent relationship. I let people use and take advantage of me. My last real boyfriend was a self-absorbed drug addict. I have pathetically low self esteem, although, this is something that I’ve been working on. I don’t want to be controlled by my addictions. I want to attend graduate school, get a really good job, and maybe even have kids someday. I want friends that actually care about me. I don’t think that this is too much to ask.
I just moved into my dorm for university yesterday, but I'm not feeling too positive about anything quite yet. It doesn't feel the same as it did last year.
I’m rambling, sorry. If you had the patience to read all of that, thank you. If there’s anything that you’re curious about, just ask.
~Elsa
Last edited by Elsa : 22-08-2010 at 04:26 PM.
|
