I've never really struggled with this before, but recently I've felt so lonely. I have a few people in my life, a lovely girlfriend, a good friend, my dog. I've never really needed people, I've always been a loner, but I liked it that way, I just got on with myself.
So I've got these 3 people in my life I really care about, and I love em' to bits, but my dog is old and unlikely to last the summer. I'm now finding it hard to communicate with my friend and I feel like I'm bottom of the priority list with my girlfriend. The thing is I love em both, but I don't know how to say how I feel without causing an argument, or making them think I'm angry, because I'm not. I just feel like I'm not of much value to them.
Has anybody gone through this before? It's not so much the loneliness, it's more that it's never bothered me before, and suddenly I just feel like neither would notice for days if I died tomorrow. I'm not going too
I would categorise myself as a loner too. A few years ago, I only really had one friend that I could count on. It was great but whenever we fell out I would essentially have no one else to turn to. Its quite a tough situation to be in, but i'd rather have two great friends then ten 'friends' who barely know me.
I think that you do need to talk to them both. Explain your fears about feeling lonely.. If you approach it calmly then there shouldn't be any reason for them to get angry.
We all need people in our lives. I'm sure that your fears come from potentially losing the three people that you love the most. That would make me feel lonely too, so I do understand how you feel. xxxxx
Well I've spoken to my friend and it was fine, but my gf didn't really understand, so I just gave up and changed the subject. There's so much going on in my life atm, I didn't really want to end up getting wound up, because I know I'll say something I don't really mean :/
Strangely I've just posted about being alone in the vetrans forum. I'm really struggling with it at the moment. I wouldn't class myself as a loner, but I'm very introverted and really enjoy my own company, and it just feels like no one gets me.
I'm sorry to hear it didn't go so well with your girlfriend. You do need her support though.
If you fancy chatting at any point just PM me. I'm always around xxx
I really want her support, she can't understand where I'm coming from. Also, she has things going on for herself just now, and I don't want to make it worse :/
And my friend, he took it a lot better - he understands because he's kinda the same. We get along so well because we understand how each other is in that respect.
could you try and find another way to communicate with your girlfriend? perhaps a letter? its hard when someone loves you romanticaly to understand at times
I tried by e-mail last night, and she understood that I think, and we discussed it. My question was never actually answered... but we talked about it, so that's good. I just love her, and don't really want her to feel bad, but at the same time I don't want to hide it from her because that's not what you with somebody you love. You talk about these things right?
For any of you feeling the same I was, I've found this poem which really lifted me, hope it does the same for you :) xx
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.
Hi Gothir, I was going to reply and say that I understand how you are feeling at the moment, then I saw the poem, so instead I'll start off saying thanks, it resonated with me a lot
But to go back to you original post, I do completely emphasise. I'm glad you managed to talk to your friend and g/friend - as you say, even if they cannot find the right words, or you dont want to put stuff on them, itis always important to be honest.
Also even if you are normally self sufficient as you say, it doesnt mean that that wont change throughout periods of you life, if things are worse than usual for whatever reason then you may well feel more isolated. I dunno what to suggest except I think youre doing the right thing by reaching out to people, both in real life and on here. I am new to this whole RYL thing but am always a PM away too.
Sorry not sure how helpful this post was, its late and I should propably be asleep but I did want to reply and let you know you're not alone x
