I hardly ever post here. I'm sorry. I'm just desperate for advice. Please help me. I've had some quite horrific suicidal thoughts this last week, which have led to an overdose, the ambulance and police coming out, and my doctor holding me in his surgery till he's spoken to my psychiatrist.
My therapist, doctor, and psychiatrist all feel it may be helpful for me to go into hospital for a few days to help and try and give my partner some space to recover. I don't want to, but I don't know what else to do.
I was assessed by the Crisis Resolution Team last week, and they felt because all my issues were long term they couldn't help. My doctor and psychiatrist want to refer me back to the crisis team, but I spoke to them on the phone this morning and they won't see me unless I sign a contract saying I want harm or attempt suicide till they've seen me. I don't feel I can do that, and even if I did do it, I'm terrified they will come and assess me again and tell me they can't help me like they did last week.
I've got no idea what to do, and I'm in need of advice urgantly. Please help me
I understand where you are coming from, last few months have been the same for me, police, ambulance, crisis team etc etc and when I was under the care of the home treatment team I took an od again, and that really pissed them off.
Maybe hospital would benefit for you for a few days, I thought it might benefit me but they weren't for admitting me, thought it would do more harm than good but I suppose everyone is different you know.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
It sounds to me that your situation has changed since you last spoke to the crisis-team. If you could speak to them this time, you would able to explain that what is happening now is different and acute; and what you think about hospitalisation as a goal.
Is there anyway you can negotiate the no-harm contract? I may cut/od/etc but I must tell____??
It's mainly put in place so that they know people are dedicated to getting better (If you can not-cut then you want help/this treatment). Which is why trying to work out a negotiation of the terms might work, because it shows an understanding of your behaviour and a willingness to get better.
I hope you manage to talk to someone, hun. It is terrifying putting yourself out there to be assessed, and taking that risk. But you're going to have the support of your team, and us on here. If you talk to the crisis people, worst case scenario is that nothing changes. So I think the benefits of talking with them outweighs any possible negatives.
Good Luck! Be brave, and here have an extra *hugs* for strength.
xx
Thanks for your support. Crisis team have now agreed to see me, and I'm seeing psychiatrist tomorrow. I've a feeling she may want me in hospital while she changes my anti-depressants, which I'm really scared about, but I'm terrified of changing my anti-depressant at home, and it making me more suicidal in the process
Hunny maybe hospital is the best place for you atm.
I know its scary and you don't want to but you need to put yourself first and get the help you need.
It's not that bad in hospital and there are people there to help you 24/7.
xxx
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
You could try going to the ER and saying you're suicidal and can't keep yourself safe. I'm sure you could be voluntarily admitted for at least a few days.
Don't worry about staying in the hospital. I've been in two different ones and neither of them were terrible. I mean its definitely not a place anyone really WANTS to be in, but I found people there who understood me. Paitients were such a good support for me and even though I only spent a short time with them I actually find myself really missing them now. It was like they were the only ones who really ever fully understood what I was going though.
Try not to be scared. Usually the nurses are really supportive as well.
