Triggering (SI) - what's the point

[poloswimer]

i've tried for so long now to stop. but i can't. it's just not possible! i hate it thinking okay i'll go a week and one day goes by and i cut again why even bother trying to stop? it's not like anyone cares or knows. why do i bother to put myself through this every time i screw up? i think it's just easier if i just stop trying.

[Hannah Montana]

Hey Hun,
Please don't be so hard on yourself. I've found from my own personal experience (and I managed quit for a year before starting up again) that setting targets can be quite difficult, especially if you're not actively indentify your trigger points or the origins behind why you SI. In this sense it may be more important to address the origins of the problem, then to just go cold turkey. Don't get me wrong, i'm not advocating that you give up. I'm just saying that that there is probably more to the problem, then just SI.
You mentioned that nobody knew or cared.. Have you tried talking to someone.. Or do you think that this may not be possible?
I'm currently in the process of quitting and I haven't really set a target, i'm just taking each day as it comes and have sort of started focus at curtailing self harm, rather that quite outright. Also if you try to focus on today rather than next week or tommorrow, you may find it easier.

I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way and I hope that you feel better soon. Let me know how it goes.. xxxxx

[Ritsuka]

Never give up hun, it's never worth it to stop trying at something you really want to achieve. I can tell by the way you write this you really want to stop. So don't give up. The road to recovery is long but you can do this. I used to do the same thing, stop doing it for a few days and start picking it back up again. I was so discouraged every time I slipped up after a week or so, but slip ups are part of recovery.

You are strong. You can do this. Pick yourself up every time you fall and soon you'll shine.

[Katiee]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, hun.
Have you thought about finding other ways of coping when you feel triggered? Prehaps drawing or writing? Maybe going for a walk/have a bath? Maybe you could find someone who you can trust to talk to when you feel down or triggered and who you can chat with about whats making you want to harm yourself - if that's not possible you can always ring a helpline such as samaritans, you can even e-mail them if you like. Recovery from self-injury takes a long time, you just have to learn to get back up again and not punish yourself for slipping up, it will happen; it's all part of recovery. Take care and I'm here if you need me. xo.

[Cazki]

I'm sorry for the way your feeling. Do you know what it is that causes you to harm yourself? Have you ever had support for your self harm? If not would you consider getting help? It could help you if you did get extra support, because you could talk through your problems, your feelings and thoughts and they could be there for you on a regular basis.Have you tried distractions? You could try things like, going for a walk, listening to music or doing things around the house to keep you busy. Please dont be so hard on yourself, as this will just make things worse. I'm sorry your struggling so much, but we are here for you and we will do all we can to help you.

Take care best wishes Ian

[poloswimer]

thanks guys. i'm ganna keep trying i guess. i just told one of my friends so that was good. but we'll see how it goes.

[Stellata]

Maybe there's a root emotion or situation that needs to be the focus of change. Once that is managed, your self harm cycle could be reduced.

[one_step_closer]

Well done for telling your friend, maybe they can support you through this difficult time. We're all here for you. Stay strong and take care.

[Zurg]

I think some people might flame me for this but i have been cutting for 14 years so i do have some idea of the ins and outs of it.....

Maybe, just maybe, you are not ready. When i was in a really bad way cutting-wise i wanted to stop, but i couldn't because i wasn't ready. And people pushed me to stop but i again, i wasn't ready. I didn't want to keep hurting myself but i had to deal with some of my problems before i could start on the journey of recovery.

Self harm is not just that. It comes from somewhere. And you gotta figure out where it comes from and what it gives you in order to be able to win the fight against it. It doesn't help to say you'll stop and then something happens and you need to harm and then you beat yourself up over not being able to resist. It takes a lot of time and a lot of therapy and a lot of getting to know yourself.

I think a lot of the kids around here would be better off if they could recognise that self harm is a bad thing but sometimes you need it for a while. It's with self harm as it is with many addictions, only a very few people can stop and go cold turkey. Most of us needs help and guidance along the way. And sometimes it's ok to recognise that you do hurt yourself but it's no use to beat yourself up every time you slip up. It just leads to more guilt, more frustration and in turn more self harm.

Maybe you are not ready to stop. Maybe you don't have the tools to make you stop. That is not failure. That's being human. It's ok to do something even if you wish you could just not do it. It takes a lot more than willpower to stop cutting and putting it behind you. And you already struggle enough as it is.

Try to think about what you'll need in order to stop. That's often the first step. Just sit down and think about it. And it's ok to need to help from others. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It shows courage

Best of luck with everything and i hope i haven't blabbered on and on for forever....

[samfishers]

I agree with Zurg here.

you have to be ready, and you seem ready. all the best.