Triggering (SI) - Tonight disaster!!

[Twilightpixiee]

I am writing this as I Lie crying in bed! I do not know what to do or where to turn! I have spent the last hr listening to my mum cry and tell me how much of a disappointment I am and how she is just waitin on me to mess up again!

I am 23 and over the last few years I have turned my life around! I have got a good job and am starting to pay off some debts! I moved home and have moved out of a bad social circle! However this does not appear to be enough to prove to my mum that I have changed!

This is making me feel like cr@p and I have started cutting again! I am scared that i am soon going to start cutting more often as the situation is getting worse! All I want is my mum to be proud of me... Not another night like tonight wen all I am doing is lying crying in my bed trying to do everything but cut!!!

[shivonie]

hey hun
stay strong u can get thought this
hugs
xxx

[Twilightpixiee]

My eyes are all swollen today! Can barely look at the computer screen in work! Everyone is asking wats happened my eyes! And also I did cut last night...

I feel so stupid!

[courtstuff89]

your not stupid :(

[Defender Of The Faith]

Please don't be too hard on yourself for cutting. It sounds as though you're having a really tough time at the moment, so...
Do you think you would be able to talk to your mum, explain to her how she's making you feel at the moment? Maybe write a letter if you don't feel as though you can talk to her?
I'm here if you need to talk to someone, yeh? Just gotta pm me.
Take care
Kirsty
xx

[Twilightpixiee]

Thanks sorry for going on about it! It's just hard sometimes
and I have no one I can talk to! None of
my friends would undertand if I told them!

She txted me this morning apolygising asking me to fogive her... I dunno wat to do!!!

[Defender Of The Faith]

I really think it would be a good idea for you to talk to her about it. If she knows just how bad it's making you feel, it could help her to stop, maybe even show her that you have changed.
As for not having anyone to talk to, I totally understand that. I don't have anyone around me to talk to either, so... I know how hard it is.
Oh, and you don't need to apologise for going on. We're all here to help each other, right?
xx