Triggering (SI/Suicide) - This really sucks

Mikey Moo · 29-01-2010, 12:34 AM

I went from movin forward begining of new year, to goin back to my old ways self harming a week ago and today im fuckin worse. It's the counselling, digging up stuff about my past is really getting to me. After counselling today, I was at the bus stop and there were 2 knobheads there, and I filled up with rage and anger and anxiety. They were givin shit to everyone else that were walking past. I was staring at them, waiting for them to say somethin, even look at me the wrong way so I had a reason to beat the shit out of them, but they never. I must've been invisible. I got home and flipped out, startin throwin shit in my room. Then I broke down into tears, and then started self harming. Pulled out fuck knows how much hair. Suicidal thoughts came in, its startin to make sense. I'm sick of it. Thought I had it beaten, thought I had already gone through the worst with xmas, but it's nowhere near through with me and I dunno if I can cope. I'm very lucky to make it this far, going any further would be taking the piss. It's stopped me from living my life, from working, being independant, having relationships and friendships, it's fucked up every bastard aspect of my life. This has to end, it's not right

lofty · 29-01-2010, 12:52 AM

sorry to hear your feeling low hope your ok.
i know how you feel ive been having a bad time since christmas and am only just becoming happier. if ya need me pm me
look after yourself

Isoverity · 29-01-2010, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey Moo

I went from movin forward begining of new year, to goin back to my old ways self harming a week ago and today im fuckin worse. It's the counselling, digging up stuff about my past is really getting to me.

It's a mistake to go digging around in the past and that's a reason counseling can make people worse. When people begin to gain the skills of emotional control past events will come up on their own. When that happens and people see them objectively without over-reacting the suppressed emotions go away on their own. To go digging around before then can make things worse.

Mikey Moo · 31-01-2010, 10:04 PM

don't fully agree with that at all, but thanks anyway.