Triggering (SI) - I want to tell my friends....

Elphaba · 26-11-2009, 12:09 AM

I feel really guilty about my friends not knowing about my SI. My mum knows and I think that the next step would be telling my friends, especially as they probably wonder why I flinch everytime someone trys to hug me

And I feel guilty about lying to them because I hate lying to people. The only worry would be they would turn against me

but I don't think they would....

So any suggestions on how to tell them?

TeenSeen · 26-11-2009, 01:06 AM

I've been in your possision, friend. And it's hard. But it'll be worth it, if your friends are supportive. As for advice for telling them? I told my best friend first, the one I knew wouldn't treat me any diffrent except for to help me through. Maybe tell your most trusted friend first?
I don't really know what else to tell you, my friend. But I hope it goes well. *Hugs*

moonbeamangel · 26-11-2009, 01:08 AM

maybe write them a letter if you dont feel you can say it out loud...hope everything goes ok when you tell them

Left. · 26-11-2009, 01:38 AM

Well done on deciding to tell your friends, its a big step but a very positive one!
I've had mixed experiences with how i told my friends, but i found that the best one for me was through a letter - but thats mainly because i literally couldn't say the words out loud.
It allows you to say everything you want/need to say and gives them time to process it all - but thats just me, personally.

The one thing i do suggest is that you give them time to process it all. Explain that you understand if they need some time on their own to get it round their head. Also, assure them that they can ask questions (if you're comfortable with it) because theres possibly a good chance they may not know much (if anything really) about it.

Good luck sweetheart

xxx

Elphaba · 26-11-2009, 08:46 PM

Thank you :)

I think I'm going to write a letter and then start with the friend I've known the longest and the one who definately wouldn't freak out and work from there...

Now what to put in the letter!

Left. · 27-11-2009, 12:01 AM

Well done sweetie :)

The best thing is to let it come from the heart. Explain whats been happening, why you couldn't say before, that it hurts you lying to her etc.

If they are you're true friends, they won't turn against you :)

All the best love

xxx

Centinnal · 28-11-2009, 03:17 AM

If you trust them tell them. They won't understand but they will support.

I never bothered to tell my friends then one night while in a club someone knocked into me on the dance flour, all of a sudden thick red lines began to appear on my right arm. There was no hiding and no mistaking what they where, my friends all freaked outed some were very upset and most reacted angrily, not because they didn't love me but because they where worried and upset for me.

Since then I've always been quick to be totally upfront with people about why I have these unusual scars on my arms. It's a little embarrassing at first but puts YOU in the position of power, not the scars/cuts.

lolababelfish · 28-11-2009, 05:42 AM

Just remember that if they react badly, it's just because they're worried about you and care for you. They will probably beg you to stop as well, so be prepared for that. You might want to emphasise to them that it's no reflection on how good they are as friends. But outline the reasons why you SI so that they can understand you better.

I hope it goes okay for you. I know how hard it can be *huggles*