It's natural to be nervous it is a big thing to tell someone. I don't know your situation but I am guessing you werent trying for a baby and are probably not very old. Being the case it is a good idea to try and think what options you have and which route you will take. This will make it easier to tell your mum as you will have more of an idea what you will do. A clear plan of action shows you are taking responsibility, have a little research and try contacting family planning to make things less confusing.
But I being poor have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet ; tread softly as you tread on my dreams.
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
It's hard. My parents were upset for the youth they thought i'd lose, i was 17 doing my second year of A levels. They are now very proud of me. Every parent reacts differently but they just want the best for their children.
There's lots of help. I'm sure you've found it. University's give childcare grants etc. My friend had her baby at the end of her first year at uni. She's just finished it now. She's done amazingly.
I'm going to uni even though i did badly in my A levels, couldnt be bothered tbh, theres so many opportunities (i did an access course). Your life is not lost. You may need to explain this to your mother. You may need to give her time to take it in.
Its good that you're clear about what you want. It's a good idea to tell you're mother outright about your clear decision. I didnt and that confused my parents further.
I'm sorry I don't have any advice really, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and hope it goes ok. I would guess she will be shocked at first, but once she gets over the initial freaking, she will be really supportive. Good luck hun *hugs* x
Good luck... If you are determined to go through with this, then i'm sure your friends and family WILL support you. Try and make sure that they understand your feelings and your position here; you are making a mature adult decision and deserve to be treated like a mature adult.
Well, I don't think anyone's in a position to pass judgement. Many years ago it was actually the norm to become pregnant at a young age. My Nanna had my Aunty when she was 16 and brought her children up well. My mum had my brother (unplanned) when she was 28 and brought him up well. The fact you are on a self harm site does not render you unable of taking responsibility or caring for a baby.
Otherwise, there has been some good advice in this thread and I wish you all the best of luck when it comes to telling your parents. I really hope they offer you the support you need.
Good luck.
Really all you can do is tell the truth and get it over and done with. You've made your decision and it is your decision. If she yells, she yells. If she's disappointed, she's disappointed. There isn't really a lot you can do about her reactions (which I know is a scary thought but its better to just accept the fact that this isn't going to be easy, you know)
When I had to tell my mum I was pregnant I made sure I had all the information I needed (as it turned out I didn't know the half of it, but I think she appreciated that I had put in the effort and was at least beginning to get my head around the impact this would have!) so that might be a good start.
Good luck though! I hope this is the right decision for you *hugs* xxx
I would question whether the ability to get pregnant makes someone mature or an adult. In fact I'd be inclined to consider it as being neither.
Good luck, I guess. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into and are sure you're capable of raising a kid, despite the fact you're on a self harm website and the pregnancy was unplanned.
wow.
that was really really helpful.
and you're probably right. using ryl does mean you're completely incapable of anything. regardless of current circumsatnces and stages of recovery.
thanks for bringing this to my attention...coz i hadn't thought about the fact it was unplanned at all...
excellent.
what a valid and useful contribution that was.
Don't loose your passion, or the fighter thats inside of you.
Let this battle commence. One last time....
(\__/)
(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
if you want to keep the baby thats great no one will pretend its gonna be easy but it will be soooo worth it when you hold the baby in your arms and know that this is your child
do you have no idea at all of who the father is? can you narrow it down at all to a few people it could be and have them tested. knowing who the father is could be helpful source of support.
hopefully your mum will support you through this. like said it might take a while for her to come round to the idea but you are her daughter and expecting her grandchild so she will come round.
*hugs* You are the one making the decision here, it doesn't matter what other people think hun. These things happen, no matter what age. Good luck telling your mum, and I agree with Lou Lou that it might be really beneficial to gather as much information as you can :) x
I believe many of the people on RYL have been through hardships in life that actually make them stronger and better-equipped to deal with something like raising a child. I have every faith that you will be able to do this.
I believe many of the people on RYL have been through hardships in life that actually make them stronger and better-equipped to deal with something like raising a child. I have every faith that you will be able to do this.
^ *agrees totally* ^
In fact thats one of things that has got me through the harder times in my life.
I'm sure you will be able to be a fantastic parent. And like others have said, telling your mother will probably be hard but she will get over it and she will most likely absolutely love being a grandparent!
There are a lot of mothers on year, there are a lot of young mothers in the world too, and they get the ability and energy from somewhere I tell you.
If you're mother asks about the father, you don't have to tell her, you could say you prefer to keep that to yourself as he will have no involvement and you don't wish to talk about the matter again. It's your buisness you're an adult now, because you made the decision to keep it and that is a HARD decision to make.
I hope all goes well, and you could still take a different route post A-levels, such has training in work, so you can still provide for your child.
Take care xoxo
Last edited by squirrelspit : 21-08-2009 at 01:53 PM.
Reason: removed reference to deleted comment.
"I grew up in Slough in the 1970's. If you want to know what Slough was like back then, go there now." -Jimmy carr
"Swimming is good for you. Speshly if you're drowning" - Jimmy carr
Me: Mum what are you doing for ur 20th anniversary? Mum: BIG party time! .. Dunno what your dads doing.
The best of luck hon, I hope it goes well telling your mother.
Last edited by squirrelspit : 21-08-2009 at 01:55 PM.
Reason: removing reference to deleted commet. xx
You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you wish to make.
![[Awakening]'s Avatar](image.php?s=b354378032cca1805feaf421129731d9&u=17767&dateline=1333971866)
