Triggering (SI) - Urge won last night

elievry · 18-08-2009, 04:34 PM

Ok so cause im new ill say hi all first. HI ALL call me LIZ.

I wasnt sure if it was triggering so I said it was just in case.

Ive been battling with SI since december 2007

This year alot has happened frinds, school and some of my family have found out plus I only cut now a days. ( i ued to sratch)

Well last night after 25 days of being SI free I let the urge beat me and cut 35 times on my right thigh.

I hate myself for it 25 days is the longest ive lasted without SI for 11 months and I so wanted to make to a month and then to the whole summer hols.
Im stupid stupid stupid and weak.
I dont know what to do cause now I want to cut again and agian and again.
LIZ

PassedExpectations · 18-08-2009, 08:02 PM

Well, first, welcome to RYL... I'm Katie... PM me anytime... it makes me happy :)

Congratulations on 25 days, that must've been hard to acheive... so great job. It may seem difficult but you have to think of cutting last night as a slip up... it doesn't replace the 25+ times that you beat the urges. It sounds like you are a goal kinda person, so could you set goals for yourself... and keep making them higher. So when you have the urge say "i'm gonna wait ten minutes..." and after ten min. an hour, etc. or have a big goal like a month, and when the month is done extend it.

Distractions are super usefull as well, theres a huge list on here somewhere...

You've proved that you can beat urges... just start counting again and show them that you're in charge.... and I know that thats easier said than done... but you to get better you have to do it.

*big hug*

lungs locked lips locked · 18-08-2009, 08:19 PM

Baby steps dear, 25 days is a good achievement, and you're allowed to slip up, its a hard battle so don't beat yourself up about it.

Make it a slip up, not a relapseback into the habit again.

loveishere · 18-08-2009, 09:55 PM

Hello Liz, welcome.
I'm sorry to hear you've been having a hard time.
I just want to tell you that you are not stupid, not weak and have no reason at all to hate yourself. Everyone slips up sometimes and it is okay, what matters is how you handle it.
It is great that you made it 25 days, that is seriously an awesome achievement.
The thing about slipping up is that it is easy to trick ourselves into thinking "I already did it, it won't matter if I do it again" don't listen if you are telling yourself that. It is not worth it. You made it 25 days, now go on and meet your goal of 1 month because I know you can do it. Good luck and if you ever need anything please PM me I love to listen and help if I can.