Triggering (SI) - Quick please - I'm scared to be alone

thelostprincess · 15-07-2009, 09:24 AM

I SI for 18 months, then my BF came into my life, and I found happiness, he helped me through everything - but slowly, I can feel myself slipping again.
We argue so much! I know it's normal, honestly I do - but after we do, I sit and I cry - I hate being this dependant on somebody -So in my head, I feel as if I need to be punished for it....
I learnt to SI in more subtle ways - He hates it, we argue about it, i get upset, and do it again - a vicious circle that I see no end to.
I was okay for a long period of time - but my mum got so ill lately, and I miss my daddy :( - I can see him whenever I want, I just don't, because I don't feel comfortable around him.

I'm sorry for rambling.
But i needed this - and feel better for doing so!

I'm scared to be alone by myself right now - I don't want to fall back into the mess i was once...

TheLostPrincess x

Ellemenopee · 15-07-2009, 09:49 AM

*hugs*

Breathe.

When all my bottled up emotions bubble over I like to be with people too. Not necessarily to talk about whats going on, but to just idly chatter. Just to be with another human.

I'm sorry to hear you mom is ill. Is she home? Can you go curl up with her? Or could you phone you Dad? Phones are so much more easier than face to face. Maybe it won't be as awkward. Or your boyfriend. I realize things are rocky but have to fully explained how you're feeling to him? That him getting cross isn't helping you get better? Could you just go curl up with him and talk about the weather instead?

I feel it helps if you take a big fat marker pen and write where you would usually SI the names of your loved ones. It's been working for me for just over 2 weeks.

Take care beautiful and feel free to pm me anytime.

Intaytia · 15-07-2009, 05:40 PM

*hugs*

Sorry to hear you're a bit worked up at the minute. Me, I'm like you (and Ellemenopee) i like to be with people too, so don't worry, and you definitely don't need to be sorry for "rambling".

I agree with Ellemenopee, have you tried to explain that this situation wherre yu argue a lot isn't helping you to recover? How would he act if you asked him to help distract you, if that would help.

In the meantime, don't forget all those distraction techniques, they are helpful! Sorry to hear your mum is ill.

Take care, PM me anytime xx