Why Can't I Sleep...Permanently?? *Triggers...something*

</3.Miss.Abigail.</3 · 09-07-2007, 08:54 PM

I See Him. All The Time.
He Walks Past My Home.
I See Him In Town.
I See Him Going Into The Park With Girls...That's The Hardest....

I Can Smell Him.
Smell His Cologne.
His Jumper.

I Can Hear His Voice.

Every Waking Moment.

But When I'm Asleep,
I'm Fine,
He Leaves Me Alone.

All I Ever Want To Do Is Sleep.
Can't I Just Go To Sleep.
And Never Wake Up?
Just Give In?
I Mean,
What's The Point In ME Living?
There Is None, That's What,

I Hate This.
I Hate Myself.
I Hate Him.

I Hate It All.

='[

Sorry About This..Yeah..

Sans Peur · 10-07-2007, 04:13 PM

hey

has something triggered you to feel this low?

I think it wouldbe a good idea if you spoke to family/ friends and got some professional help

please take care of yourself

jane x

Candescence. · 10-07-2007, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the.devil

hey

has something triggered you to feel this low?

I think it wouldbe a good idea if you spoke to family/ friends and got some professional help

please take care of yourself

jane x

Lmao. By the sounds of it, she's referring to an ex bf?

I won't even start until I'm certain that's what the issue is.

</3.Miss.Abigail.</3 · 10-07-2007, 09:54 PM

no. I'm on about a guy who..well raped me.

Candescence. · 10-07-2007, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by </3.Miss.Abigail.</3

no. I'm on about a guy who..well raped me.

Why is he not in prison? Why have you not reported it? Do your parents know? How about moving home?

</3.Miss.Abigail.</3 · 10-07-2007, 10:08 PM

hes not in prison because he was my friend (until he raped me of course),
I didn't want anything more to do with any single part of him
If my dad found out (which he would if I went to the police) then he would have taken me off my mum.

My mum knows. She blamed me. Good that ennit?
We did move home, but not far. I don't wanna move too far away anyway. 'Cause my life's here.
And now I probably see him more, but that's life right. Gah it sucks!! =\
My school knows, They were complete twats about it. It's all effed =]

xx

xx

Sans Peur · 11-07-2007, 07:05 PM

abigail, how are you feeling today? I hope you are feeling a bit calmer.If you need to talk.RYL is here for you *hugs*

candescence... why laugh at my reply... also i dont think your reply was that helpful

</3.Miss.Abigail.</3 · 11-07-2007, 09:34 PM

Hey Jane, I'm okay I guess. I haven't seen him today. Which is good. But he lives close to me, so it's a bit scary. I try not to think about it. But I'm finding it really hard to trust people, I refuse to be alone with my mum's fianceé, and I won't go near lads on my own.

I feel kinda pathetic to be honest =\ But ah well.

Thank you for checking up one me.

xx

Sans Peur · 11-07-2007, 09:42 PM

its not pathetic, have you thought about posting on the abuse board on ryl?

a lot of people have gone through what you have gone through.are you getting any help to get over what happened?

*hugs*it will take time

</3.Miss.Abigail.</3 · 11-07-2007, 09:47 PM

No, no help. When my mum took me to the doctor to get the pill, it turned out to be the doctor who psyched me a few months before, and she just told me off.

Thing is, it was a while a go, a few months. But, I don't deal with things, I pretend they didn't happen, and then they come back to bite me in ass like ages later.

So now I'm getting really depressed about, more than I was when it happened. I just try to laugh it off. Ya know??

And thanks maybe I will =\ Thanks for the hugs, *hugs* back =]

xx