As you will know there was a thread made for me asking for support. Heh, pretty ironic as many of you will know im not the greatest fan of them.
Well, i took a large amount of Vallium, ontop of a rerasonable amount of alcohol. Friday nught was an experiment. Felt ok.
Saturday was the real thing. You see i knew i didnt have enough Vallium to kill mysel or even induce a coma, but i had suffucuent other drugs that slow the heart that would have proved fatal.
It appears i passed out part wat through taking the next batch.
I was awoken this morning by my dad playing a message on the home phone from Chelsea telling how many i had taken.
So now my father knows. As a result i have told him to remove all pills from my room. Aside from the Ads because they wont harm me.
I am disgusted and shamed at what i have done.
I am truely sorry.
I am sorry to Erin for whom i would have broken her heart.
I am sorry to Chelsea who i know loves me and i her.
Im so ashamed.
So terribly ashamed.
Thank you for the support.
Matthew x
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
You don't need to apologise, just try to take care of yourself as best you can. There are a whole lot of people here who care that you're ok.
BK
XX
Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning. – Capt Jack Harkness – Torchwood
Capt.Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Ooo, this could be a little more sonic?'" The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
You dont need to be ashamed and you dont need to appologise.
I've ODd on Valium before, im so so glad you're safe.
You're a very special penguin, I hope you realise how many people love you.
Aimee xx
Matt Im glad people know please dont feel too bad - yes people have been upset but it is in the past - now work forward so it doesnt happen again.
Take care my lovely
Matthew, its good to hear from you, and that your ok right now, We all know your not keen on threads for you asking for support for yourself. But we will always be there for you and offer support, because we care about you.
I m sorry you took the valium mate, hugs you, Again im sorry you then took more tablets On saturday, i hear how bad you must have felt , im glad too you actually passed out half way through.
Which meant you didnt go any further yourself, but i really would have missed you mate ,i understand the desperation you must have felt. I hope you can really see past you attempting to escape. I hope matthew seeing how much your cared for by others at ryl including me, you can use this to help you fight it and get to that safer place you so rightly deserve.
And see and aknowledge the person you are, caring, fun, talented, and approachable, and recognise what everyone else sees in you.
Please take on board how much of a big part you play in this community and mate. See from everyones support, how much they value you and respect you, and love you, for who you are.
I hear how much chels thought of you to be leaving messages on your phone, and i gladyour dad found out, what a brave step you have taken by asking your dad to look after your medication, that is very wise mr penguin.
I know right now you will say your feeling disgusted and shamed with what you did, but remember mate you were feeling so bad you saw this as the only answer to your problems. please be gentle with yourself about your feelings. And focus on you pulling through this.
Yes of course we were worried and we didnt want to loose you, but we care about you and we support you.
we are glad your still around Matthew, get stronger, take care of yourself
and keep poking that beak of yours into vets to keep us posted, and let us keep supporting you.
throws you plenty of fish
your friendly
ninja
Dave
" Use only that which Works, and take it from any place you find it" Im Honoured My RYL Sons are :)Atlantica, ,Saint of Misery, Stevevaijr
My Adoptee :)S_Pod live help
I just wanted to say I am glad you are ok and you didnt take the rest. Whats done is done and cannot be changed. Please dont feel ashamed about it, or if you must, dont dwell on these negative emotions because they will only make you feel worse.
Congratulations on taking the brave step of giving your Dad your meds to look after.
