Triggering (Suicide) - i dont know

xxhappydaysxx · 28-09-2008, 02:38 PM

In the last month and a half I've lost 2 people and moved to uni.

One person was my best friend, we wer like soul mates, she knew me inside out, and made me feel I knew who I am.

since shes been gone Ive felt so lost. i feel so alone. I talk and talk but all I want is her back.

I lost it on monday and went home from uni though Id only just got here. I was threatening suicide and my mum sat up to make sure i was ok. i came back to uni but all i think about is loosing my friend, I dont even think iv processed that my nanny has died too, theres too much in my head.

My doctor put me on anti depressants but I dont know if theyre doing anything or not I know that sounds stupid but they cant take away how I feel inside.

Im meant to be seeing a counsellor tomorrow but I dont see the point he cant bring them back and all i want is to have my best friend back or I dont see the point in going on.

SuperEMY · 28-09-2008, 03:45 PM

Hey there.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of two people close to you. It's understandable that you really want your best friend back, and I'm sure wherever she is she's watching over you. As your nan will be, too.

Although going to see a counsellor won't bring them back, it'll allow you to release what you're feeling inside and sometimes, talking about the loss of people close to you can help you grieve and move on with your life a little bit.

I hope your counselling goes well. Stay safe.
xxx

snowflake · 28-09-2008, 04:04 PM

I'm sorry about the loss of your nanny and your best friend. I can relate a lot to how you're feeling because in the past i've lost people who were close to me to so I can understand the pain you feel right now. Its always hard loosing someone close to you but you still have the memories you shared with your best friend and like the above poster said i'm sure she will be watching over you.

Greiving takes time and maybe the counselling will help that process by letting you talk about how you feel. Its true that couselling can't bring your friend back but it might make it easier to deal with.

*hugs* take care
Zashi xxx

Shatterproof · 28-09-2008, 08:04 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and to hear about the rough time you're going through at the moment.

You're right, nothing is going to bring them back, but still, do you think that this is how they would want you to feel? Do you think they would want you to take your own life? I really don't think so. You have so much to live for, and although things don't seem like they are going to get better, they will. Trust me!

PM if you need to chat and stay safe! xx

Cazki · 28-09-2008, 11:20 PM

*Hugs* Im sorry for the loss of your nan and your best friend. Im sorry that your struggling so much. Going to see a counsellor wont bring them back but it will help you to talk about things instead of keeping it all bottled up inside you which only makes things worse. You have a great life ahead of you, suicide really isnt the answer, they wouldnt want you to take you own life they would want you to still think of them everyday but move on with your life and do all the things you have always wanted to do. If you end your life you wont be able to do the things you have always wanted to do.

I do understand that this is very painful for you but you will get through this. Please try to see the counsellor tomorrow, you dont know what its going to be like untill you try it at least give it a try and if you dont think its helping you then you dont have to go to anymore if you dont wish to. Have you tried keeping a diary about your thoughts and feelings? Dont give up, you can and you will get through this, il never forget how much you have helped me here on ryl in the past, you supported me so much and iv seen you around supporting other members alot to. I wish you all the best with your counselling tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. Im thinking of you.

Take care best wishes Ian

Sometimes Crazy · 29-09-2008, 05:42 AM

*holds you gently*

It's understandable you'd find the events of the past few months difficult to deal with, honey. I'm so sorry for your losses - allow yourself time to grieve for your nan and for it to sink in properly. The mind and body often goes into a numb state after bereavement to protect itself, so allow yourself to come to terms with what's happened with the support of others around you and those you love. And remember we're always here on RYL for you too. Look after yourself, darling.

xx