lent

Emo · 09-03-2011, 09:21 AM

I find lent really hard to deal with this time of year was when some of the ritual abuse happened.
I cant remember all what happened but am getting flashbacks of what happened at the moment.
Am scared that the abusers will come back and get me but it was such a long time ago they could be dead by now at lest some of them will be.

Trying to get through this moment.
It really hard

troubleshooter · 09-03-2011, 09:33 AM

*offers hugs if touch is ok* We're here to support you honey. That stuff can be real horrible at "reminder" parts of the year. I don't think anyone will try to hurt you again. We're here if you want to tell more or get more support.

BridgesAndBalloons · 09-03-2011, 12:02 PM

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, can you talk to anyone close to you and tell them you're finding this time of year hard? I second Tracie's comment, we're here if you want to talk more about this.

ghosts in the machine · 09-03-2011, 01:33 PM

understand

Emo · 09-03-2011, 01:46 PM

Thank you both
I see myself on a table , naked , theres blood dont know who's it is is it mine am
i bleeding ?
chanting, i dont understand what they are saying.

i only have my husband to talk to about all this he is supportive.
i tried therapy i couldn't talk about it at all and spent most of the time staring at the
floor or dissociating.

Am trying to keep myself safe but i dont feel safe at the moment .

kj645 · 09-03-2011, 01:51 PM

aww hun. im going through this too but not for ritual abuse but rape on 16.3.11 it will be four years. i understand how hard this time of the year is for you. safe hugs hunni. i understand . sorry

Emo · 10-03-2011, 06:25 AM

kj645 sorry you are having a hard time too i hope you will be ok.
Woke up because of nightmares my husband thinks its because he woke me
he gone back to bed .

I feel really bad at the moment with everything that is going on right now
i feel really unsafe

BridgesAndBalloons · 10-03-2011, 12:43 PM

Well done Ella for being brave enough to talk about it, I'm so sorry you experienced that, no one should have treated you that way. I'm glad your husband is supportive of you. I have nightmares most nights I know how upsetting they can be, it's hard enough trying to deal with memories in the day without having to dream about things too.

Are you in therapy at the moment? Maybe talking this over with a therapist might help.

Emo · 12-03-2011, 07:30 PM

No am not in therapy at the moment when i was i would just stare at the floor and dissociate.
So there isnt much point of me going and am not really ready for it

BridgesAndBalloons · 14-03-2011, 03:52 PM

Yeah there is little point in having therapy if it's not the right time for you, sorry I must have missed it when you mentioned that in your previous post.

Do you ever write down what you remember? I have a book where I write down recovered memories, it's not something I do very often as I have to be in a good mood as it's obviously hard to write about but sometimes I feel it helps.

Do you keep a journal or similar? Sometimes I've found writing can help me. Also drawing/sketching can be useful if you enjoy those things.