so i never have to see that dissappointed look in somones eye again.
so i can stop flinching every time someone says the word emo.
so noone else cries.
so i dont have to hide every sharp thing i own.
so i won't be scared of people finding out cos i can explain it was the past.
So I don't have to worry about my parents finding out I started again...
So I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel asahmed...
So I can go home whenever I want, and not worry about whether or not my cuts have healed yet...
So I don't flinch every time somebody talks about SI, or uses the term emo...
So I can stop wearing long sleaves and hoodies in the middle of July...
So I can go swimming again... its been four years...
[Not really recovering, but trying desperately not to self harm right now]
Because...
You could end up going too far.
You could cause more damage.
You don't want to end up in hospital again.
You need to fight for your amazing nephew.
You need to fight for your adorable kitten&hamster.
You need to fight for your wonderful grandad.
Fight for all the people who love and care about you, they believe in you, you need to believe in you, too.
You don't want any more scars to ruin your body, you're already covered enough, you don't want more, you really don't.
Fight for the good things in life, that make you smile, that make living worth it, that you truly enjoy and make you happy.
- So my mom doesn't have to worry about me when I move out of state.
- Because it doesn't really make me happy, and I desperately want to be happy.
- To feel that sense of accomplishment when I look back and realize it has been X amount of time.
“Too late, I found you can't wait to become perfect, you got
to go out and fall down and get up with everybody else.” Ray Bradbury in Something Wicked This Way Comes
- so you don't have to be afraid to take showers in case your mom sees.
- so people don't ask about your 100's of scars you will have if you keep sh
- so I can wear shorts
Because it doesn't just make you scared, it makes those who care about you scared, too. It's a bit selfish to put that kind of stress on them, they don't deserve that, so you need to fight for them as well, to not make them worry excessively over x, y, z etc, it doesn't just affect you.
Because you deserve to wear a dress/short sleeves/etc without being worried and upset and paranoid because your body is simply covered in these disgusting ugly horrible scars that won't ever go away, and if you keep self harming, you will just feel worse about yourself and your confidence will just go down to hell.
Because you deserve to feel good about your body and your self, scars or not, you deserve to do things that everyone else does, wear things that everyone else does, not wear your scars as pride as such, but to wear them without feeling ashamed and to sacrifice things because of it.
Because you don't deserve to hurt so much, and to take it out on your body.
Because you could lose a limb, or your life, and you don't want that, no matter what your brain says, you don't want that at all.
The pros far outweigh the cons in self harming. You have to fight for the pros. The cons are just illusions that your brain is telling you, they're lies, they're not true, it's all a con, it's your enemy, not your friend.
- Because I don't need any extra pain.
- I will feel guilty.
- I will worry constantly about whether I will lose A/B/C over my self harm.
- Knowing that those who had so much hope for me, will be upset, worried and probably feel quite disappointed however much they try to hide it.
- Because I quite like being able to have a bath without worrying about the wounds.
I want to be better for my Girlfriend.
I want to be better for my Dad. I have made them both suffer enough.
I haven't slipped up alot but when I do my dad gets so angry at me and my girlfriend always worries about what goes on inside my head.
To be safe from being fired To keep my place to live To help my girlfriend not worry about me
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that you find someone to carry you
-So the GMC give me provisional registration
-So there are fewer awkward questions when I start work in August
-So I don't have to worry about bleeding through my clothes
-So my mum isn't constantly worrying about me
-So that I can say 'I was strong enough to overcome that'
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
Someone once asked me, 'Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?' I replied, 'Why do you assume I see two roads?' Take it from someone who's fallen... it's a long way down.
So you don't have the feelings of guilt when you see the blood
Beauty: RIP 3rd November 2008
Dylan left us 23rd March 2012
PM me any time you need to talk and I'll answer as soon as I can.
"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future" LOTR
