- So I can help other people stopping without feeling bad because I'm not stopping either.
- Because I like white more than orange. :D So white bracelets are nicer than orange ones.
- Hiding is so troublesome.
- I hate to lie to people about how I'm feeling.
- It's so awkward when SI comes up in a discussion, and you don't wanna say anything because you think that might give you away.
A hand above the water / An angel reaching for the sky
Is it raining in heaven - Do you want us to cry?
- To not have to invest money in BioOil, plasters and other things you require.
- To actually look forward to going away and the hot weather, rather than hate it.
- To be able tofeel again.
- I don't want to lie.
- To stop reinforcing the feelings of absolute hatred towards myself.
- To not want it every single day.
- To be able to concentrate on my studies instead of it ruling my life.
- Short sleeves.
- Swimming.
-I have a lot of people worried about me and afraid of what i will do
-I can't remember what their face looks like without worry on it
-I have only seen other expressions on their faces in pictures or directed at others
-because explaining it to people who don't do it when they catch me is really hard
-because I can't keep track of all the lies anymore
-because I don't want to keep making excuses for why my grandma can't visit because I don't want her to see the latest damage
-because I don't want to withdraw from people so I don't have to see the disappointment on their faces
-because I want to celebrate one year free with a swim in the ocean
-because I only get one body on earth
-because I want to be able to tell my therapist I stopped and get it crossed off my therapy treatment plan
-because I want to get better and not have a therapy treatment plan for the rest of my life (even though she is really nice)
-because this is not how I want to remember university
-because this is not how I want people to remember me
-because I scare myself
-because the harder it is to quit, the more worth it it will be when I do
-because I've come so far and want to go farther
-because I promised so many people that I would stop and I want to keep my word
-because I want to stop
-because I know I can stop
-because I have way more reasonsto quit than I have to keep doing it
- So i can stop feeling so ashamed
- so that i dont have to hide it
- so i can wear t-shirts again
- so i dont have to lie
- so i dont have to feel guilty for how much it would hurt my parents if they knew
- so i dont have to feel afraid someone will find out
- so i dont have to feel afraid i might go too far
- so i can start getting my life back
- so it doesnt become another problem in itself
- so i dont have to feel sad when i look at the damage i've done to myself
- so i can start respecting myself and thinking im worth something
- so i dont have to keep pretending
- so i can say 'i'm ok' and instead of it being a lie it will be the truth finally
- so i can look at sharp things/ hear things without associating them to SI
- if i dont SI anymore it will mean i am getting better emotionally
- so it doesnt continue dominating my thoughts
- so i can show myself i'm strong
- because it doesnt last, its just me lying to myself that everythings ok
- so i dont end up with permenant scars that will need an explanation my whole life
- so that i can see that i can survive and will survive and will be happy
Last edited by DontLookUp : 10-06-2010 at 07:29 PM.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
*because going to the beach with friends in long sleeves and pants in 35 degree weather is more than a little suspicious.
*because something's wrong when you nearly pass out from trying to cover the stitches in the summer.
*because I miss the old happy, carefree me, and I want her back.
One thing is sure-
we have to do something.
We have to do the best
we know at the moment.
If it doesn't turn out right,
we can modify it as we go along.
-FDR
SO Glad u bumped this!! : )
How about . . .
* Cuz my kids need a "selfless" mom (well, maybe just not a selfish mom) and all the attention I have to give to hiding/caring for wounds/pitying myself takes too much time away from them.
Words right out of my 4-year-old son's mouth: "You know, you have to take care of us sometimes, Momma."
An eye-opener, for sure.
-so i don't have to hide cuts or scars
-dont have to make up excuses
-dont have to blame my cats for cut marks
-won't be so awkward around my family
-can wear short sleeves without being self conscious
-can stop lying
-so i'm not triggered every time i see peoples' bare arms
-can be more honest about the marks everywhere
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
i like this thread (: but...
_to not have to hide it
_to find better ways to cope
oh my gosh... there's just so much
They make you wanna self destruct
and become someone else
And when it feels like it's too much
Baby don’t hurt yourself
Beautiful scars don’t last forever
Come on, let me kiss it better
The pain won’t last forever
Come on, let me kiss it better
Your perfect the way you are
I wanna hold your suffering in my arms
-So that I can wear whatever I want
-So I can wear my sleeveless dress to a formal and feel beautiful
-So my friends can safely give me my scissors back
-So I can stop worrying
-So my body stops hurting
-So I can finally be happy again
-I am worth more than this
I just want you to know that you are special, and although I don't know you, I love you
