they're starting to fade, so i have to make more

debra5992 · 21-09-2010, 12:39 AM

i know theres other forums out there like this.
i've started up my cutting again but it makes me feel happy, and it helps me through things. when i look down at my wrist and see the cuts/scars it makes me happy and i almost smile, because no one else knows about my secret, well no one here at school does.
anyways the last time i cut was last thursday night and the cuts are starting to fade away. its so sick the way i feel the need to create more, i kind of dont even want to cut but i know once i make that first cut ill be hooked. but...

Kitkat :) · 21-09-2010, 12:55 AM

It's okay, I understand how you feel. When I was cutting (I've been SI free for 5 months now) it used to make me smile too, because it was my thing that no one knew about, and it was the way I managed my emotions and I was proud of myself for doing that, even though I was managing them in not the best way possible. I also began to sort of panic when my scars started to fade, I still can't explain why I felt that way but I did.

Do you know why you're cutting at the moment? I do understand how addictive it is as well.

If you want you can PM me to talk, talking to someone can take your mind off it and talking to people on here has prevented me from relapsing before, or maybe doing something even more dangerous.

Take care.

JaffaCake. · 21-09-2010, 08:53 AM

I don't really have any amazing advice to give you right now or anything that could be useful but, I just want you to know that you're not alone on this one.
I don't want mine to fade either and when I see that they are, I'll start cutting a lot more.
I wish I didn't feel like that but, what can you do hey!?

Take care sweetie.
..Milly x

Lyddie · 21-09-2010, 10:35 AM

I'm afraid that I don't have any great advice for you, I just wanted to let you now that I think it's quite common to feel like this. I've always liked the fact that I could cut myself and no one knew, i guess i felt proud of myself somehow (but i'm trying really hard this time to stop).

I hope you're okay, sweetie. And it is possible to recover if you feel that you're ready to stop. You can always drop me a PM if you want to talk about anything. Take care