Humans have kept animals as pets since the dawn of time. They make loyal and loving companions. But we’ve come far from the days when man and beast would sleep on the ground beneath the stars together. Our pets have recently become exceedingly pampered and fawned over. The products sold in specialty pet stores are evidence to this trend. Here are ten of the most ridiculous, useless, and just plain stupid pet products.
10. Clothing
There’s no better way to irritate your furry friend that to press them to the floor and forcibly clothe them. You’ll get the satisfaction of seeing your costumed pet stare perplexedly at you for a few seconds and then commence removing/ripping/soiling his or her new outfit.
9. Pet Stroller
“Hey do you wanna go for a walk around the neighborhood?”
“Yeah sure! But what about Mr. Whiskers?”
“He can come along! I’ve got a Pet Stroller!”
Does this situation seem familiar to you? Of course it doesn’t. Any reasonable pet owner knows that carrying your cat out into the noisy and unpredictable world with you in a small, confined space is a very, very bad
8. Pawlish
This punny product is meant to give your pooch a fashionable manicure or pedicure. Just like people! (Hint: Dogs are not people.)
7. Babble Ball
The Babble Ball is a toy that either talks or emits various sounds when touched. This toy could provide for two very unfortunate scenarios:
Your dog is so intrigued by the Babble Ball that he plays with it all through the night. The sound of voices and strange animal sounds echo throughout the house. You, the owner, are kept awake for weeks on end and, consequentially, are driven insane.
Your pup listens to the sounds of voices emitting from an inanimate object and his perception of reality is distorted. He eventually snaps and goes Cujo on your ass.
6. Chuckit! Ball Launcher
Tired of the incredible arm strain it takes to throw a small ball a relatively short distance? Then thank the sweet lord for the Chuckit! Ball Launcher. (Note: Anyone I see using a Chuckit! will be laughed at/pushed into a ditch.)
5. Dog Poop Freeze
Although it is slightly embarrassing and nauseating to crouch down and idea. pick up the steaming pile that Poochie just deposited, it is a necessary aspect of dog ownership; otherwise, there wouldn’t be a square foot of clean earth in Central Park. Dog Poop Freeze claims that with a simple spray doggy cleanup will be 100% easier. Here’s a hint: fire-extinguishing your pup’s poop isn’t going to make it a less embarrassing or disgusting task.
Bonus: My favorite product review from Amazon.com – “I reminisce about old days when a uncle and his born-again Christian nephew had to make poop sculptures out of WARM poop. Not anymore, Scooter. Now I can finally make that lifesize poop sculpture of Debbie Gibson in my basement.”
4. Kong Stuff’n Paste A Kong is a rubbery, snowman-shaped toy that dogs apparently go nuts over. The primary reason for popularity is the fact that the Kong can be filled with food, treats, and practically anything else. Kong Paste is basically a can of doggie spray cheese in a variety of flavors that can be sprayed into the Kong. Alright, fine. But what happens when the Kong doesn’t get cleaned out completely? The chunks of meaty paste begin to fester in the corners of the rubbery snowman, creating bacteria and ultimately producing a small civilization; like that episode of The Simpsons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treehouse_of_Horror_VII).
3. Vibrating Massage Mitt
It’s the purrfect gift for any pet! Haha get it? But not really. This product is marketed as a massaging mitt that relaxes pets and strengthens the bond between pet and owner. I would imagine a different scenario unfolding: You walk over to Fluffy and turn on the massaging device that makes sounds similar to that of a vacuum cleaner. Fluffy reacts to the terrifying vacuum sound, engraving deep scratch marks on your arms. Fluffy has lost all trust in you as a dependable owner. You bastard.
2. Secure Outdoor Cat Run
Your cat will thoroughly enjoy being confined in a weird green tube…thing for hours on end, being taunted by small animals protected by the layer of fabric that separates your cat from the fun, vibrant world.
1. Doggles
Just look at the picture! I am not even going to bother to comment on the sheer stupidness of this product.
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Letting it get to you - You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now that's all that counts. ~ Doctor Who "The Doctors Wife" 06.November.2011
5. Dog Poop Freeze
Although it is slightly embarrassing and nauseating to crouch down and [/color] idea. pick up the steaming pile that Poochie just deposited, it is a necessary aspect of dog ownership; otherwise, there wouldn’t be a square foot of clean earth in Central Park. Dog Poop Freeze claims that with a simple spray doggy cleanup will be 100% easier. Here’s a hint: fire-extinguishing your pup’s poop isn’t going to make it a less embarrassing or disgusting task.
Bonus: My favorite product review from Amazon.com – “I reminisce about old days when a uncle and his born-again Christian nephew had to make poop sculptures out of WARM poop. Not anymore, [color=Black]Scooter. Now I can finally make that lifesize poop sculpture of Debbie Gibson in my basement.”
OMI GOODNESS. Do you remember that movie where they make a "vapoorizer" that vaporizes the dog **** into thin air? I watched that when I was 11, good times good times.
Wow, and I thought our cat was spoiled. She's got a lot of toys, but we trade them in and out every few weeks so she doesn't get bored. Suddenly I don't feel quite so ridiculous. :P
You seem to be missing the one thing that could make some of this stuff cool. We can now dress our dog up in a suit with doggles and a poop freeze therefore creating our own MIB doggy agent with a freeze neuraliser! N i dunno...maybe some turbos on the pet stroller than they have a cool ride too? XD
Dog clothing (not like the kind you show- like sweater or horse-blanket type things) are actually really good for dogs with thin coats in the winter. Chihuahuas, whippets, etc get cold very easily, so when taking them out in the winter, it is really good to be able to keep them warm enough for them to at least do their business without shaking violently. The doggles.. I have heard that for dogs that stick their heads out of moving cars, it protects their eyes from damage. Not gonna lie, though, they look ridiculous.
I own a kong ball and paste actually but that's because my dog destroys things when left alone and giving her something to distract her (getting the food out of the ball is challenging) tends to reduce the destruction, thus protecting my various items (especially books).
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6. Chuckit! Ball Launcher
Tired of the incredible arm strain it takes to throw a small ball a relatively short distance? Then thank the sweet lord for the Chuckit! Ball Launcher. (Note: Anyone I see using a Chuckit! will be laughed at/pushed into a ditch.)
push me in a ditch. ive used one of these.
its actually quite good. my dog used to love it...
plus i have a terrible throwing arm. so it is a useful thing to own *nods*
as above i have used one i am afriad to say, i had a sore sholder, and cant throw very far, with this it is easy and goes really far...tyhus the dog being occupyed long enough for me to send a text without her jumping on me
We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.
I have a throwing thing too, it goes alot further than if I just threw it
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
